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Marriage/Do wives like to cuddle their husbands? and be affectionate ?


QUESTION: Hello sir.. please help me.. please answer this question.

This question is.. Do women like to be affectionate? When in love? Just like men do?

You know men like to kiss their women , hug them, talk to them , tell them I love you and I miss you and touch them gently , a spend alone time with them, Cuddle them and comfort them.., and like kiss on the forehead and cheeks..and stuff like that.

Men like to initiate all these things and they love all these things..

So 4 question based on this..

Q. Do women also like to initiate these things(start it)

Q. Do they like to do these above said things.

Q.will they do it if their man loves it.

Q. do you think women like to do it more than men do ? (talking about majority of women and men ) not a single particular case.. talking on general terms.

Assuming that she is in love and happy and the man also does all those things for her.

Please answer seriously.. I have zero experience with women.. So I really don't know.

Please answer all the questions.. thanks for help.

ANSWER: Hello Mauz - like men, women range from very affectionate and expressive to very unaffectionate and unexpressive. Generally, women are more expressive of their needs and feelings than typical men. A normal dynamic between new mates is learning each other's preferences and limits, so honest feedback about what you like and dislike is essential. Women are most apt to initiate affectionate contact if (1) they were raised to do so, and (2) they feel safe, respected, and accepted by their partner. Each couple evolves its own style of physical contact over time - Pete

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QUESTION: Thanks a lot for help helped a lot.

Yes I understand what you are saying.

I like only very loving , caring , affectionate and nurturing women..

How do you identify these women?  I live in a country of arranged marriages..

Don't worry about me making her feel loved and cared and respected.. I will do that..

I am just worried..she won't do the same for me.. I.e be affectionate with me..

And I need that a lot..

I need affection of non sexual way.. I.e hugs and kisses on forehead and cheeks, cuddle,..and all that stuff..

So any do I identify these kind of women? I just hope I don't get stuck with the non expressive kind of women.. Cause that will be bad for me as I will feel neglected.

Now assuming that she is non expressive kind..but she claims that she loves me.. Cause I love her and do a lot for her..

Will she be willing to be affectionate with me?  So women do that to please their man? Whome they say they love ..

By affectionate I mean..hugs and kisses..initiated by her..not by I am talking about kisses in forehead and cheeks and cuddle.. And all that kind of stuff..

Of course I will also initiate it a lot..but I worry she won't..and that will make me feel bad..and then I will also stop caring about her..cause that's only natural.

If a person dose not love you.. You usually stop loving them after a time.

I don't know the customs in your country. It seems to me a key factor is how well your parents understand the kind of woman you're hoping to match up with, and whose needs they put first - yours or theirs. I encourage you to ask the advice of older men you trust - Pete


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Peter Gerlach, MSW


I can answer questions about choosing a mate wisely, marital communications and problem solving, affairs, same-gender relationships, trust, respect, bonding and intimicy, values differences, boundary problems, grieving, dealing with ex mates, parents, and in-laws, remarriage, separation, divorce, abuse, feeling unloved, codependence, psychological wounds, money disputes, balancing kids, careers, and marital primacy, etc. I cannot answer legal or medical questions


I've been a professional family-systems therapist in private practice for 33 years. I have specialized in helping people avoid and adapt to divorce, and manage remarriage ans stepfamilies, since 1979. I've studied and taught classes in interpersonal communication for over 40 years, and have presented over 200 seminars on a wide range of human-relationswhip topics to Chicago-area churches, schools, menyal-health agencies, and businesses, and have been featured on Chicago and national radio and TV. I have been married and divorced. I now believe all marital and family problems are caused by five little-known factors - see This forms the basis of my work as therapist and educator.

I now answer "" questions on stepparenting, communication, and counseling. I belong to ", "Death with Dignity," "Compassion and Choices," and to the online Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACES) at

I've published over 200 free Internet articles on childhood-trauma recovery and wholistic health, communication skills, healthy grieving, human relationships (including marriage and divorce), family health, effective parenting, and managing a stepfamily). These articles are in the form of seven free self-improvement lessons ( These articles are augmented by 168 YouTube videos ("gercacn" channel); I've published a book on childhood-trauma recovery ("Who's *REALLY Running Your Life?"), and other books on interpersonal communicactioin skills ("Satisfactions"), remarriage ("The Remarriage Book"), "Stepfamily Courtship", and "Stepfamily Co-parenting" All published by

Bachelors degree in Mechanical Engineering (BSME) from Stanford University (1959); Masters degree in Social Work (MSW) from George Williams college (1981); hundreds of hours of post-grad trainng from Northwestern U. the University of Chicago, et. al. in a wide range of human-relationship topics.

Awards and Honors
The state of Illinois licensed me to practice clinical social work in 1981. I was selected twice to serve on the board of the Stepfamily Association of America (SAA), and am currently on the Stepfamily-expert panel at Auburn University; I was the Board chairman at a major public mental-health agency in suburban chicago, and was the chairman of the Parent Relations Council for a major suburban High School. I currently have over 500 subscibers on YouTube since I began uploading educational videos in May, 2011.

Past/Present Clients
I've worked with over 1,000 men; women; dating, merried, remarried, divorcing, and redivorcing couples; and whole families. I'm currently 74, semi-retired, and disabled, and I do therapy with people and couples by phone and Internet (Skype).

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