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Marriage/Depression and work in a marriage


My husband has recently changed. Gone is the happy, enjoyable personality and in has come a jaded, depressed husband. We live in the Midwest bordering Canada (I'm Canadian with dual Canadian/US citizenship, originally from Alberta, so that makes me a Canadian-American I guess, well, I'm actually English-Canadian, to be honest - my mum's Glaswegian, dad from Wigan, Greater Manchester)
Apparently this is due to work issues, he's told me the boss has demoted him from head of promotions / PR to "underwear manager" and he has to strip-search the employees in a private room to check if they're carrying drugs in their underwear (it did happen a few years back, and people called in Cokeundiesgate) as they enter the premises - he works in PR for a city firm that sells software and games consoles online. He says he feels humiliated and it's a waste of his skills.
Also, considering he works in PR, won't/couldn't this be in a "worst PR disasters"-type thing.

He's still kind and caring, he's not changed in that way, he's still trying to be romantic.
He asked me for help, I suggested he tells his boss he's leaving, and he agreed with me, but there's an issue there; he can't work for anyone else in the same industry in our city due to a non-compete clause in his contract prohibiting him from working for another employer within 20 miles of his current one.

Why would his boss do this to him? I often hear from friends, co-workers etc. how good he is at his job, and I'm worried about him.

This is affecting our marriage in 3 ways; one, he's not wanting sex much, if at all, two, he's having nightmares about the whole thing, and, three, he feels humiliated by his job title.

How can I deal with this?
If we sued his employer, it'd be on public record, and wouldn't look good to a future employer, but if we don't take action, his boss will continue to get away with it, so what do we do, basically?

If your boss was like this, and imposed such a contract on you, what would you do?

Hi Kate-

What in the hell does him being demoted have any thing to do with his previous job title in promotions have to do with strip searching ppl for drugs in their underwear?!?!?  How does his boss think he can honestly get away with that at all?!?!?  It seems to me that the boss is only trying to humiliate him rather than to fire him for whatever reason. Almost like he trying to make a mockery of your husband and for him to be an example of him should anyone else piss the boss of. Now of course I'm only speculating that this is the cause of what happened. If I were in this situation, I would consult a lawyer and see what my options were and if I had a good case, well I'd sue my boss for undo stress and humiliation and for being demoted without good reason. And I would see if I could break that contract due to what caused this whole situation to begin with. If my case was strong enough I would sue my employer and find another job. Especially if you can make that contract null and void, so as he could find another job wherever he wishes. I would bring that up with a lawyer. I'd bet he has a pretty good case against his employer . Lawyers love cases like this. I hope this helps you some. Otherwise if worse comes to worse I think I'd cut my losses and find another job where I didn't feel so embarrassed about doing.


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