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Marriage/Is this a midlife crisis?


OK, so on a public PC here, session expires 20 mins.
I've been married for 22 years to my husband, we have no kids but are aunt and uncle to 3 girls,  in the last few weeks his behaviour's been worrying me; is it indicative of a midlife crisis?
He spends large amounts of time going to local pizza and Indian restaurant places, eating pizza excessively, even at breakfast time, having a new friend called Steve over, and buying loads of new polo shirts! From what I was told, and a reliable source at that, he was eating alone, sometimes 2-3 pizzas in one sitting!

Bizarrely, he's even been getting into work late because he watches Toby's Travelling Circus - a kids' TV show! You'd think he'd record it on the digi-box, but no...

Is this behaviour indicative of a midlife crisis? I tjought a midlife crisis was usually things like hair transplants, younger women, sports car etc.

I don't want to divorce him, as this seems so out-of-character for him, and he's been a great husband and is usually a kind, caring guy.

I asked him if anything was up, nonjudgementally, but he was quiet and drank a lot - of milk, that is, not alcohol.

He couldn't/wouldn't elaborate why he was acting this way.

Is it depression, or something more? Or is it really a midlife crisis?

There doesn't seem to be anything pointing towards an affair, so I can rule that one out; the spending on pizzas and polo shirts are odd.

He doesn't seem to want to see a doctor, says everything's OK.

This is the time for me when the marriage's going has got toughest; its both unusual and worrying, how should I handle it?

I love him and he's a generally great guy but this does worry me, a little bit, and I need your help.


What you describe does seem odd if it is out of character. I wouldn't think it's a midlife crisis. I wonder if it's more related to some type of depression. Maybe the two of you can talk to a therapist? He may be more willing to go if you talk about it in terms that you want to go and need his support. I certainly wouldn't think this is something worth getting divorced over.

Doc David  


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Dr. David Simonsen


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