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Marriage/wife unhappy?


Hi, I hope you are well. I am 22 and have been married for two years, my wife has always been my best friend and besides for one or two recurring issues ( basically revolved that she hates doing housework and I was/ am a bit stubborn in my expectations) we never really argued, and certainly didn't have serious fights, and we communicate very well, however there has always been a lack of passion, admittedly this is my fault, I am very attracted to my wife but I am very insecure in bed and have trouble meeting her romantic/ sexual desires,  so we don't have sex often, this aside, its been ( I think) a greatmarriage, after the baby ten months ago however things changed, I still love her as much as ever but the arguing is far more frequent, and things are often alot more tense, there are times where we are both very frustrated and she seems really unhappy, this more often arguing on top of her sexual frustration is really taking a toll, I try to help by being more helpful with the baby, being less demanding when it comes to housework, calling her from work to check in, and im trying to drink less in the evening. I don't want to make it sound like im perfectam not, but I am trying hard and not sure how to bring back passion and energy into or relationship, I hate seeing her sad and I hate myself for causing it, im just at a bit of a loss here. Im very, very sorry for the length of this question, I cannot afford a marriage counselor in my community, and any help is very appreciated. All the best"

Hi Charles-

You need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart talk with her. She needs to know how this is affecting you, and what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  Ask her what she would like you to change about you. Tell her you are willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work and to improve yourself.  In turn she has to do the same. That you would like to have that passion return once again between you both. She has to tell you and try to be specific on what she needs in order to feel that passion again.  It might take courting her, aka going out on dates together. Making that time as a couple again. It will take some time so try to be patient. Also, make sure you keep the lines of communication open with each other. I hope this helps you some.


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