Marriage/Handling the meeting-the-parents situation for my boyfriend
I'm 23. I told my parents about my new boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 months now. He's 27, I'm 23.
I'm Indian, my parents aren't religious despite what some stereotypes are of Indian people, we drink alcohol, we're not Muslim, my boyfriend's white, he's of English and American descent, his mum's a New Yorker, his dad's from Warrington, Cheshire.
However, they want to meet him next weekend but on two conditions - the first, is they want to see him this weekend, they told me, is, also they said they think he's boring but will give him a try [he isn't, he's got a personality but not one that people will hate], and the second, which is a bit odd, is he has to be in his undies when he meets them. I don't strip to my undies in the house, they accept that, but they insist all guests do, and it's caused friction, neighbors have stopped coming over.
My parents behavior has changed a fair bit over the years; they've gone from keeping up with the Joneses to being in the house in their underwear 24-7, boozing and cooking.
I don't live at home with them, I rent a small flat, am a young professional, so as much as I love them, I don't have to be around them in their underwear; what if I had guests back and was living at home, how would I explain that to them? If they want to be that way, the fine, but not in my house.
My main problem is why they think he's boring, and why they insist on him wearing only his undies in the house, I mean isn't that a weird way of meeting-the-parents ?
I told him about this on Thursday, and he felt wholly uncomfortable about being in his underpants around them. He said to me about that if they thought he was boring, then fine, it's their opinion, but neither of us can understand why they want to see him in just his underwear.
I'm wondering, how should we handle this? Get them to meet him at somewhere like a pub or restaurant, or at my flat. I'm running out of ideas on how to handle this situation... what do I do?
your parents is weird and i wouldn't tolerate anyone exposing themselves,they need to respect themselves and others,strangee;this is so rude,folk walking around in their panties/undies.where is the morals,u will lose friends if u bring them around such rude behavior,people don't want to sit around looking at Butts! its like being nude,no respect for others.your bf should see this as childess. That is the issue of your discomfort with the situation. You are clearly uncomfortable... concerned, at least. Listen to yourself. What do YOU need to do to be ok & to be true to yourself? These are YOUR friends,man and neighbors & you need to follow up as you feel is best.let them know thisis embarrassing.Talk to them. Ask them to sit down with you and talk for a moment and explain why you're upset. is they maybe wanting to have a 3some/Either way, your partner is the person to think about hereÖwhat it says to him about your respect and love for him to allow him to be discluded and shunned and uncomfortable.our parents will understand if you tell them that you DON'T want them to lose you, and that is why you need this behavior to stop. They may be angry and you may lose them for a while, but in the end I really think that they'll see that this relationship isn't going anywhere and they better get over itÖyou do have to power over your own life to take that option back and refuse to be manipulated. Somewhere there is a thread called "Codependant bill of rights"
Codep or not, it is something that should apply to all of our lives, personal boundaries and emotions we are allowed.At any rate, at some point it is time for children to go out and make their own families, and if you and your partner aer a family than you are. Perhaps there could be some sort of a ceremony so that they can stop treating it like a roomate situation and ignoring the true commitment involved in your relationship?
their perception is not reality. They want their daughter to be happy ultimately, one would hope, and if not then it is fair for you to want it for yourself instead!!!they is freaky to me,As "Bloody Mary" sang in South Pacific, "You got to have a dream. If you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?" We all only get one life to live. Rather than worrying about living up to other peopleís expectations of us or doing things just to please someone else, each individual should learn to live life on her own terms. We have to learn to do what makes us happy and enjoy the life that we have.
Donít identify yourself based on what other people think or believe you should be. That can leave you unfulfilled and unhappy with life. You have to be true to yourself and decide who you want to be. Donít allow other peopleís expectations of you override your own expectations of yourself.
Discover what it is you want out of life and make plans to achieve it. Working towards your own personal goals gives you something to look forward to. Setting goals and actively working to achieve them gives you a feeling of accomplishment.Donít spend a lot of time doing things that donít have meaning to you. To live life on your own terms you have to think and act on your own terms.Stay true to your beliefs. Know that everyone has many different beliefs and values and yours are just as important as anyone elseís. Donít conform or hide your views and beliefs just because some people donít agree with them.
Exercise your power to choose. You have to choose what you want, choose what you donít want, choose when you want to make a change, and choose what makes you happy. Your choices directly effect the things that are going on in your life so make good choices.
Stop asking everyone else for their opinion. If you like a certain outfit, donít worry about how others may think it looks on you. When you ask for too many opinions, it will leave you unsure of yourself unless you have the approval of someone else. The only approval you need is your own.
good luck,feel free to follow up,i pray i have helped,if so feel free to rate me,thanks