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Question
I am 27 years (approx.) old Male. I want to marry but unable to do so. One of the reason is Culture and Society in which I am living. I live is Pakistan. Here people do not give the hand of their daughter in your hand unless you are wealthy and have high living standard. I have been rejected by twice due to low income and low wealth. I feel strong sexual desire. I am Muslim and do not want to indulge in illegal sex at any cost. I feel deprived. My sexual desire is hampering my other activities. I am unable to focus on anything else because of sexual thoughts prevailing all the time on my mind. I want to get out of this situation.
Can you please suggest something?

Answer
Self-Esteem and Marriage.

In any society there are far fewer wealthy people than average or poor.  In our society they are called 'The 1%-ers'.  Meaning, 99% of the people are not wealthy. It is not accurate to say that you cannot get married unless you are rich.  If you are wealthy you may have more choices, more opportunities and more success with women, but in your country the rich are not the only ones who get married. If you walk around thinking that you are too poor and have no chance to have sex/get married, that is exactly what will happen to you. Women are attracted to strength, not weakness.  Think like a winner.

This relates to your sexual life.  I guarantee you that there are many women, even in a Muslim culture, who have sex before marriage.  The sex drive is strong and built into all men and women.  The same thing applies, if you are coming across as some poor little victim, no woman is going to want to have sex with you.  You need to see yourself as rich in other things besides money and property.  This translates into strength which women are attracted to.

And lastly, speaking of your sex drive, you can't stop those thoughts from entering your head at 27.  Until you feel stronger within yourself and find a woman to have sex with or marry, you have some choices in how to satisfy your sex drive.  Is masturbation 'illegal' where you live?  

Good luck.  You'll eventually find someone.  Remember to think Affirmatively about yourself.  

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Online Therapy and Counseling Until Midnight, specializing in Online Therapy including Office, Email, Telephone and Web Counseling, Directed by Dr. John Silver, Certified Online Therapist, Licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor, Certified Psychoanalyst, Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), Certified Addictions Specialist and Certified Sex Counselor offers a Free Office, Phone or Video Consultation, Free Email Advice, a Sliding Fee Scale, Same Day Appointments, Night and Weekend Hours in Los Angeles, Seattle and Virtually World Wide. ____________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Silver was classically trained in Psychoanalysis, became proficient in the modern Evidence-Based, Outcome-Measured Modalities like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as well as experienced in the Cutting-Edge Technology of TeleHealth. He Directed a Counseling Center for over 15 years in which he was responsible for the care of 1000s of Patients, the Training of 100s of Therapists and the Development of a recognized Clinic offering high quality services at a Low Fee; was a PsychoSocial Researcher at the RAND Corporation, Los Angeles County/USC Psychiatric and Camarillo State Hospitals; a Montessori School Psychologist; a Specialist in Child Therapy for the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, Reiss-Davis Child Study Center and other positions of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Consultation.

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