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Marriage/short fuse husband


Hello Dr Silver,
I have been married for 3 years and together for 8. I have a concern for my husband and our relationship. He seems to get very irritated with me when I make simple comments about his shorts being dirty or asking him to please pick up after himself. Tonight I arrived home from work, I requested to get off early to send time with my husband because he goes to school at night but today his class was canceled. He was not home when arrived buyback shortly after. I had left some chicken on the stove for him earlier in the day.I simply asked in a normal calm tone, if you're not going gone at the food I made then why didn't you put it away? He quickly got mad and started yelling at me saying why I was starting an argument- when there was no way i was nor would want to. This kind of thing happens often. He always says hurtful things and gets vocal with cursing. It always makes me cry and so upset.there is nothing I can say that makes him change his's always my fault for "starting " an argument. I feel I don't deserve to be treated this way. Not sure what to do.but if little things like this set him off. What if something major happened? How would he react?
Any advice from an outsider would help. Thank you


You and your husband need to see a Marriage Counselor as soon as possible.  Email is not the appropriate treatment for your issues.  This type of problem doesn't get better on it's own.  It usually gets worse.

Marriage Counseling would help the two of you to handle your arguments more constructively, without tears and anger.  It would help you to identify and resolve problems that keep returning.  It would teach you to really listen to each other so conflicts can be worked with more effectively and compromises arrived at.

The anger and tears problem is very common and can be worked with so that your marriage would be happier to both you and your husband.

If your husband goes to Marriage Counseling with you, great.  If he doesn't, then you should see a Counselor on your own to help you to cope with this situation.

Good luck.


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Dr. John Silver


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Online Therapy and Counseling Until Midnight, specializing in Online Therapy including Office, Email, Telephone and Web Counseling, Directed by Dr. John Silver, Certified Online Therapist, Licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor, Certified Psychoanalyst, Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), Certified Addictions Specialist and Certified Sex Counselor offers a Free Office, Phone or Video Consultation, Free Email Advice, a Sliding Fee Scale, Same Day Appointments, Night and Weekend Hours in Los Angeles, Seattle and Virtually World Wide. ____________________________________________________________________________ Dr. Silver was classically trained in Psychoanalysis, became proficient in the modern Evidence-Based, Outcome-Measured Modalities like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as well as experienced in the Cutting-Edge Technology of TeleHealth. He Directed a Counseling Center for over 15 years in which he was responsible for the care of 1000s of Patients, the Training of 100s of Therapists and the Development of a recognized Clinic offering high quality services at a Low Fee; was a PsychoSocial Researcher at the RAND Corporation, Los Angeles County/USC Psychiatric and Camarillo State Hospitals; a Montessori School Psychologist; a Specialist in Child Therapy for the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, Reiss-Davis Child Study Center and other positions of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Consultation.

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