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Marriage/Old Love


I asked my husband if he had any feelings from people he dated before me. He replied that he has caring feelings for his high school girlfriend. That he loved her in a caring way only. This makes me feel very jealous. How can I look at this in a positive way? Thanks Jen.

Hi Jen,
It is extremely normal for someone to have brother or sisterly love for someone they have dated before, so I just want to make sure that you don't feel like your the only one that feels this way. We all get jealous of past boyfriends and girlfriends but it doesn't necessarily mean they want to get back together with them. For instance, I had my ex fiancÚ come out to visit recently and even though it did not seem like any time had passed, we both did not have any romantic feelings towards one another at all! Although, we do care about each other like best friends or brother/sister. At least your husband seems very honest, which is great. If he truly had passionate or real love feelings for this girl, he would not have even told you about her; or he would have told you and would be out trying to pursue her right now. Nobody tends to settle for someone that is less of an offer than their previous ex's. What I mean is people usually do not date someone and then find someone who is less of a match than their previous boyfriend/girlfriend. People who are meant to be together, know it and have an incredibly strong connection in which that is the entire reason marriage occurs. I'm sure he loves you more than anything. Otherwise, he would be divorcing you. Also, I'm sure he knows that you have past flames that you have cared about. I have always used this phrase that my grandmother would tell me. She would say that, "It is better to have trusted and loved, than to never have loved before". I completely understand your situation and as time goes on, your love will increase and you both will share those positive moments that his high school girlfriend and him had never experienced together. Make your marriage strong, happy and healthy and he will love you like no other woman in the world.
Take care and good luck!
Kiya  :)


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Kiya Sakaris, C.P.C.C.


I work primarily with pre-marital couples to those who have been married and are wanting to take on the responsibility of children. I have counseled many couples and families in group settings, as well as consulting individuals on a one-on-one basis. I work with couples all over the nation.


I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man and have 2 super kids. I am self employed as a relationship and family coach gearing mostly towards couples who are planning to be married.

Library of Congress

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach Major in Metaphysics

Awards and Honors
Honor Roll/Society and CJSF Poetry published in Library of Congress I have been a Girl Scout Co-Leader since 2004 Volunteer for local Community Hospital I have attended a 6 day course on suicide prevention Taught science classes to elementary school kids for the past 6 yrs 4.0 GPA college

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