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Marriage/Does money or family = happiness


My wife, Steph(25) and I(25) have been married for 2 years of our 7 year relationship, we have a daughter in her toddler years. Here is the issue. She wants to move to North Carolina, about 2,000 miles away from where we are now. Okay, now a little background. My wife and I work in the same field she has worked for 7 years at the same job and hates it. I love my job, and have worked at the same place for 10 years. Currently I make about $60,000/yr, Steph makes about $15,000, she works part-time for spending and saving money. The reason she wants to move is her family is in NC, and I mean her entire family: Dad, Step-mom, Brother, Aunt, etc. She moved out here with her bio-mom 10 years ago though a divorce. I only have my mom alive here. I do love her and want to support her, but it scares me to move so far away without guaranteed employment, or at least unemployment with a pay cut. I don't want to have to start over with our lives, when we first met we were broke! It took a long time to finally get comfortable, but given the fact our daughter isn't in school and we have no debt, it seems like it would be a fairly easy time to go. Should I or would you, give up a very good job and risk it all for family? What's more important, financial security or emotional well-being?

Hi Evan,

You could have made this sacrifice easily if only the economy were to be buoyant enough. With job conditions tough out there, making a move so far away isn't advisable at all. You both will have to start with a vigorous job search plus may have to settle for jobs you may or may not like. Right now you are in a comfortable financial position, it won't be wise to just give it up. I would say first try and make a database of opportunities existing in North Carolina which suit your qualification. Discuss it with Steph. Do not make it out to be a now or never case. You'll have to convince her only on the financial angle. She's right now only thinking emotionally.




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