Marriage/Handling a spouse that is inconsiderate
The last 2 fridays ive had an incident with my husband where his lack of consideration has become apparent. The first time he went out with his friends, said he would be home early (10ish) but showed up at 12:45am. No call, text, nothing. He did text me at 12:30am saying he was on his way. This was after i texted him that he needed to be a little more considerate of the situation and let me know hes ok so i could go to sleep and not worry to death. Then the next friday he is going to get some food that is 5 mins away. He was gone for an hour. Didnt say he would be long or anything. So i texted him saying we were starving and how long would he be. Immediately he got defensive. Finally walked in angry and wouldnt say where he was. I explained that this was 2x in one week where this has happened and considering it came after a guys night out...i become a little suspicious. If there is nothing to hide then why is he angry?? I know he doesnt like being questioned but if its nothing, then just say so. Eventually i figured out where he was, ran 2 other errands and got the food. BIG DEAL!! So why was it so hard to tell me that?? Why do men get defensive when asked a question even when its nothing? He does that a lot, doesnt let me know he will be late. And typically i will find out he had a dr appointment or something...because he tells me when he walks in...so why was that so hard for him??
sounds like u need to check his cell when he's unaware cause sounding like red flag,possibly cheating from what i am reading into this post,check text msg [inbox and outbox,usually when a man is cheating he is very defensive and unexplainable whereabout.His defensiveness seems the typical behavior of someone who has something to hide.That is the key question and since you say this is tearing you apart and he is non-responsive, I think you have your answer.
If this wake-up call causes him to promise to change, don't fall for it unless you are certain he has taken the necessary steps to do so. Unfortunately, if he enjoys having an uncommitted partner on the side, he will probably find another in short order as soon as the dust settles.
The decision is yours as to whether you can live with this or not. the reason he is telling you your oversensitive and blaming you is because he can't deal with whatever guilt he has going on inside him. I don't know what to say, but from your other questions it sounds suspicious, I'd do a bit of investigating if it is nothing you have nothing to worry about and trust is restored, if it is something than well....separate. ..if he loves you and wants to fix this as much as you do and you tell him what you need emotionally he will give it to you.
.i am married to man who tries to do everything to make me happy...and i do the same for him..everyone deserves that...it definately sounds like you do/There is something wrong here i'm sorry to say. its high time 4 him to MAN UP.You want him to tell you everything is ok but he's not because it's not.You have to take charge and find out what's going on..
Be strong and good luck..
I am sorry, but to me it sounds like he is attacking you as the best form of defense - to hide his guilt, he is making out like the very question is an insult to him,Please realize that he may well be cheating, or is at the very least, on the verge of it; . Don't ignore the signs!
Don't approach him the way your approaching him. Men are psychologically different than women. He doesn't think like you.
You're wasting your time by asking and seeking him to tell you "everything" is okay, because it's not. He's genuinely interested in this other woman! If he wasn't, then he would be genuinely interested in you, his wife.
It is time to stand tall, be strong and show self-confidence. It is time to get a solution - answers. Your husband is not that source, or he would have told you by now.
First, get alone with God. Pray and ask him for wisdom - guidance. Ask God in the name of Jesus to help you; to help you through this. Get alone with God and he'll show you the way.Second, do some detective work. Go to his job. If you work, take a vacation day. Get someone to take care of the kids. Put on a wig, disguise yourself, and see who this woman is. Then, when she is by herself, tell her. Find out who her husband is too. Don't be afraid that your husband will get mad at you. What? He's the cause of it!
Your husband is defensive because he is protecting someone. Defensive means to protect or defend. The person he is protecting is the other woman.
The key is: to get alone with God and seek him for the answers. There is way to do this, and God knows because he knows all about your marriage.
Also, look inside of you. Have you been doing somethings to contribute to this? No sex, affection, admiration? I'm in no wise blaming you; but a lack of these can cause trouble in a good marriage. When you're alone with God, he'll show you.
However, you can be the best wife; just with the wrong man, or a man that doesn't deserve you.
Nonetheless, follow this advice. Be STRONG, and Very courageous. Men love self-confidence. GET IT. Get it for your self and your kids. Stand up for yourself! Get to the bottom of this. Don't nag him and stay up all night - worrying where he is. He should worry where you are. Don't tell him everything. Let him see a different side of you.
He'll wonder in amazement at this woman who is his wife. Remember: change your mind, change your attitude. See yourself different. See yourself strong and walk tall. Get about your life and don't wallow about it. You're somebody important. Let your kids see it, and do something about it! [if u have kids]..Take off the costume that use to be you, and put on the real you: assured, deserving attention, and love, meaningful, graceful and self - confident. Again - and very important, pray to God alone (kids sleep or gone), and be CONFIDENT, strong. You're a champion. Win this!
Jesus Loves you. Remember that. He has given me this wisdom to share this with you.
The reason he does not converse with you on this subject is because he is Oh So Guilty. Please believe me I have been there.. I cant say give up your marriage, but I do say face the truth.Good Luck/ i pray i have helped,feel free to follow up.woman up and peace be unto and upon u 4evermore