You are here:

Marriage/temptation

Advertisement


Question
Hi Nessie,
I'm hoping you can help me. The other day, I was in line at a store and there was a man in front of me. I was attracted to him and started fantasizing about touching his body and I thought "I want to..." Now, I'm a happily married man (I'm gay, have a husband). I knew I wasn't going to actually do anything to or with this man or anyone. And I didn't even consider/contemplate actually doing anything. But it scared me a little. Does this encounter mean I was tempted to cheat? Or would I had to have at least considered doing something to label it as me being tempted?

Thank you for your time.

Answer
prayer is the key
prayer is the key  
yield not to temptation,,So you need to develop a game plan on how to deal with tempting or enticing people outside your marriage who start to catch your interest. . You need to understand that being attracted to a stranger is not a new problem or one that is unique to you, and, yes, you will face it again/So you need to develop a game plan on how to deal with tempting or enticing people outside your marriage who start to catch your interest. For starters, it would be helpful to do a little bit of self analysis and ask yourself, ďWhy am I being attracted to this person/Thatís a dangerous zone to be in. And what you need to remember is that you are only seeing the best side of the other person; you are not seeing their grumpy side. You are not seeing them in their worst moods. People forget that the person that is being a bit of a draw to them does have a dark side.So sometimes the attraction and the temptation is not very subtle and the interest can be extremely confusing. It is not only important to look at why you may be tempted, but it is also valuable to understand that you are most vulnerable when things arenít good at home. If the relationship is suffering at home, your primary focus needs to be on getting things right between you and your spouse, so you wonít have any context for temptation beyond the relationship.Work to make your relationship strong.Temptation begins in the mind, so we need to set a guard inside our mind. Noticing beautiful people in your world is inevitable, but you canít allow yourself to dwell there. The battles must ultimately be won in your mind, by refusing to linger on tempting thoughts.For that reason it is important to put boundaries in your relationships with people outside of your marriage,,Be sure that your kindness isnít being misunderstood, and donít let any sexual innuendos creep into your jokes, or allow teasing to become an enticement.When you are really being tempted, the best thing you can do is simply flee. Put distance between you and the person that is being a distraction to you and to your marriage. That is what Joseph did in Genesis 39 when he ran from Potipherís wife: he put distance between himself and the temptation.When it really comes down to it, God needs to anchor us in our relationships. We honour both God and our mate when we make Jesus the Lord of our eyes and our heart. Ask Him to set a watch over your eyes and your mind, so that you do not fall into temptation yourself, or become a temptation to someone else. Ask Him what steps you need to take to protect your marriage right now.May closeness, passion, and faithfulness continue to grow between you and your spouse!i pray this helped,if so feel free to rate or nominate me,peace be unto and upon u forevermore

Marriage

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Nessie

Expertise

I specialise in helping couples save their marriage and rebuild it after major hurts such as an affair. Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems.I can answer questions about issues arising in marriage: conflict, communication, listening, anger, verbal abuse, infidelity, addiction/substance abuse, pornography, physical abuse, time spent together, finances, in-laws, death of a spouse or child, separation and divorce,forgiveness,anger management issues, problem-solving and much more.

Experience

I have over 20 years as a counselor for couples experiencing difficulties. I have been a counselor for over 20 years,26years of marriage.I have been a student of this subject for over a decade and have not only researched it but lived it in my own life!

Publications
yahoo answers

Education/Credentials
I have a bachelor of Philosophy from CPCC in Charlotte NC I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
I have a PhD in Metaphysics, Divinity, am a Minister with Friendship Baptist Church,faithful member, i would love to be a good samaritan to help couples to be blessed with positive answers.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.