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Marriage/Husband wants to separate


sdc wrote at 2006-09-29 19:09:47
Whoa. Who is this expert? First of all you totally came off blaming this woman and putting her husband upon some deserving pedestal when you know nothing about either one of them.

I say if he left you and won't communicate with you then you could ask him if he is willing to go to marriage counseling. If he refuses to and he continues to refuse to communicate with you then I would let him go.

You can't control what he does. He is responsible for his actions. You can't beat yourself up and take responsibility for the whole thing. He's at least 1/2 responsible. And by the way, you have a right to be tired at the end of the day and need support from him just as much as he needs it from you. If he leaves you and/or cheats on you then he has failed the marriage - NOT you.

Finally, if a joke is not funny - you don't have to laugh nor should you. I thought that advice was absurd and counter-productive. How are you supposed to have an honest, open and EQUAL relationship when one person is a servant to the other? Go back to the 50's expert...This is 2006.  

carol wrote at 2007-09-08 02:49:08
I think the advice was good, but I don't think you should sit back and wait.  You are married.  That means making permanent decisions together.  He doesn't get to try single life while you wait at home.  You two seem civil enough to grab a big cup of coffee, sit in a quiet place and talk openly about what each of you wants in life.  You never know. You might want the same thing and not know it.  Like Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain...

dawLs wrote at 2009-07-04 04:32:51
Just to add, I am going through a rough patch with my husband as well.  And even though Maureen didn't provide much to go on, I'd love to express the opposite side from you, French.  I'd say that there are certainly times the man may not provide the love and support she needs either.

I'm in that position right now.  There has to be an equal amount of desire to pursue the success of the marriage.  It's truly too frustrating for one spouse to be complacent or unwilling.  

Best wishes.

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Mrs. R.M. French


Any question pertaining to marriage, problems in the marriage, marriage communication issues and more.


I have worked as a faith-based marriage counselor for the past 5 years. My duties included pre-marriage counseling as well as marriage crisis counseling. I currently hold a doctorate in psychology and have a private counseling practice.

Doctorate in Psychology as well as extensive post-graduate training in marriage counseling issues.

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