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Marriage/How to get my husband's ex-wife to get a life of her own

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BeenThere wrote at 2010-09-10 16:34:43
Hi Gina,



 Having been in your shoes, there are a couple of things that are worth considering in addition to Dr. Rhodes response:



1. Emails - if she is emailing you be aware that she may abuse the priviledge by degrading and insulting you directly.  This is harrassment - You and your husband would be wise to keep every email or other correspondence from her.



2. Emergency contact with you husband.  This is another area for potential abuse as she may call in hysterics over a hiccup.  Your husband neesd to avoid getting on the hysteria bandwagon by making certain that its a real emergency: make her call 911 for an ambulance then go to the hospital.  My husband's ex called insisting that their daughter had meningitis but didn't call an ambulance or get her to the hospital - my husband had to take her which meant driving 50 miles and after spending all night in the ER for tests and bloodwork, she was sent home with a mild stomach upset and he lost a day of work.



3. Derogatory name calling.  Your husband MUST NOT allow his ex to call you ugly names or attempt to defame you.  He needs to be clear that his marriage with you comes first.  Cut off his ex from any further communication and arrange for a liason who can communicate between she and your husband. My husband's ex got away with this for years and even taught her children to degrade me.  It has been a miserable existence and I have considered leaving him just to be rid of ongoing the drama and vicious attacks.



4. Decide if staying married is what you really want and communicate with your husband about what your marriage means to you, then make a plan for either staying or leaving and stick to it.



5. I wish you all the best and hope that your future is happier than you could have imagined.  


pixie wrote at 2012-01-03 11:13:47
I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex - who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx


don wrote at 2013-08-30 19:32:25
I think theres way more to the story husband just don't out right make up bad names just for the heck of it has to b provoked



something doesn't sound right cause if husband asked for a divorce cause it got that bad it should b mutual and for the best and LET THE ARGUING STOP AND SHE B HAPPY SHE WILL B MORE THAN FINE IF HE IS A BAD GUY AS SHE SAY HE IS     IN A MARRIAGE THERES A TEAM ON THERE WAY TO A BETTER LIFE THEY LOST COMMUNICATION. AND THE WAR TO RUIN HUSBANDS LIFE BEGAN CAUSE TO HER THERES NO MUTUAL AGREEMENT SHE PUSHED HIM OVER THE EDGE PURPOSLY      JUST A HYPOTHESIS he does love her but love means to do whats right cause peace needs to come


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David Rhodes

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Marriage and relationship related questions. Adultery. Physical abuse, substance abuse - depression. Counseling since 1991. Married 30+ years. Don't give up! You are reading this because you want a change in your life - start today! I will give you specific tips and techniques that I have used with hundreds of people in situations just like yours - you are not alone. My clients call me "The Marriage Doctor" - let's get started on yours.

Experience

Married since 1975 to my high school sweetheart and I love her more today than when I was 17. Counselor since 1991.

Organizations
American Psychological Association National Christian Counselors Association

Education/Credentials
Bachelors Degree - Ashland University - Ashland, Ohio MBA - Case Western Reserve Universtiy - Cleveland, Ohio Under study - Masters Degree - Christian Counseling - Andersonville Seminary - Andersonville, Georgia Under study - PhD - Freedom Bible College - Rogers, Arkansas Stephen Minister Guardian Ad Litem

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