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Marriage/moving away from family

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amy wrote at 2007-12-21 01:37:50
I want to tell the truth... I also have recently moved from my home in alaska where I lived for 22 years to the state of Washington. My family has been able to visit once in 2 years because of the cost of traveling is so high. I have no friends here. I am a stay at home mom with 2 kids 3 and 20 months old. We moved to a very small town, the only place to shop is a walmart. I am a stay at home mom. I plan to go back to work when both kids are in school. But I am terribly unhappy. My husband has his family and his 2 brothers who are both unmarried and cousins are all male. It is terrible every day I think about packing the kids and myself up and going to the airport and leaving my husband. He is a great man and a wonderful husband. but long he is at work I am so depressed. I have no adult conversations and miss my 2 sisters and mom so much. My advice to you is don't move... Just say no... unless you will not be able to make it because of money issues, stay where you are. Moving will make things worse. And if he chooses to go with out you, at least you will already be settled instead of having to move back and start from scratch... good luck with whatever you decide.. Amy


ksli wrote at 2009-07-31 08:18:31
Amy, it is a saddness that you feel so depressed. This is very common in your situation and you are not alone. I whole-heartedly recommend that you try a few things to make your life and marriage healthier and happier. Definitely, first and foremost, discuss and schedule some counseling time for you and your husband on a monthly or weekly basis (My husband and I recommend this for even the healthiest of marriages!! We also would encourage a Christian counselor, but go with your preference.) Communication is huge and as you said your husband is a loving but busy man, then any attempt to make your marriage thrive, let alone survive, may be difficult but will be a beautiful thing. For you, (I've been in this situation) I really recommend that you join a club, a Bible study, volunteer somewhere, join a team, start a moms and kids play group, anything that perks your interest!! You are doing a beautiful thing in both venturing somewhere new and uncomfortable to support your husband in providing for you and staying home to help your young ones get all the attention they deserve. Don't forget, though, that you deserve some time, too! If some hobby, group or othersuch thing calls-out to you and there is a way to safely care for your children at the same time, AWESOME!! I really think it will help. My heart and prayers are with you during this struggle. If you are a Christian, it can really help to spend time daily with Christ and just give him all your worries and hopes. God is always with you and wanting the best for you--be at peace!


star wrote at 2013-12-06 05:51:33
beautifully said, thank you for you insight. I also needed to hear this...


Marriage

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Donald Bosch

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I attempt to answer most questions concerning marriage, commitment to a spouse, and what it takes to make a marriage an excellent and enriching experience for both partners.

Experience

I have been married for 23 years to a wonderful treasure of a woman. We are now young retirees living on a small private island without road access to the mainland. This is not necessarily because I wish to keep my wife in a safe place, but more so because we enjoy each others company so much that we decided to move away from the mainstream hustle-bustle of society. We sold our business to change our lifestyle to allow for more time together. This allows me to spend 24 hours per day with my wife who also happens to be my best buddy, 7 days per week, 12 months per year. As we evolve together, we find more and more happiness in our marriage. We have raised a child and have lived, worked and loved together with harmony and happiness for a long time and will continue to do so. I can speak from my own experience and perhaps help others understand what is necessary to find happiness with your spouse. Married life is a challenge for many, but should not be at all. It is a commitment that needs to be nurtured and consistently maintained, and there are ways to make this quite easy to do. I can answer questions in English and French.

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Adequate Passing Grades from The School of Life for the last 50 years.

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