Marriage/Questions Answered by Expert Kiya Sakaris, C.P.C.C.
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Moving away from family after marriage | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: I am writing...well first it's almost 2am in the morning. My reason for writing, really is what is ... A: I'm so sorry. I realize how hard this must be for you. I know it is difficult to find a happy medium ... | |
| Stressed out over my husband! | 8/31/2008 |
| Q: From just before my son was born 7 1/2 months ago my husband has turned into the worst person in my ... A: When I started to read your letter, the first thought I had was that your husband seems jealous. ... | |
| When is it okay to quit? | 8/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I dated for a year before we got married. We have now been married for a little over ... A: It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Besides the fact that your husband is not doing his ... | |
| 3 Eager Fiance's = 1 Big Problem | 8/28/2008 |
| Q: Let me start off by saying that it wasn't my intention for this quandry to happen. I've gone from a ... A: That was very sweet! One thing I'm curious about is, have you told these two bachelors about the ... | |
| 3 Eager Fiance's = 1 Big Problem | 8/27/2008 |
| Q: Let me start off by saying that it wasn't my intention for this quandry to happen. I've gone from a ... A: Lucky you; you have choices, and 3 good ones! Usually a gal will accept a marriage proposal to a guy ... | |
| My husband... | 7/31/2008 |
| Q: last night I signed into my husbands email thinking it would be no big deal. I saw instant messages ... A: For some reason, he does not believe that you will truly leave him. What I see, is that he is ... | |
| sexless mariage | 7/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have been Married for 23 years just 2 days ago was our Ann....we have not had sex ... A: Do you remember anything happening between the two of you before the two year abstinence? There ... | |
| Taking my name after marriage | 7/8/2008 |
| Q: I'm thinking of asking my girlfriend to marry me and i've come across a bit of a problem. We're both ... A: There is not too many options in this situation, and it becomes even more limiting without ... | |
| Trial Separation | 7/6/2008 |
| Q: I have been married to my wife for a little of four years now. We have two beautiful little boys ... A: Yes, I do believe that there is hope for this marriage. It sounds like you truly want to be with her ... | |
| marriage problems | 5/19/2008 |
| Q: I have benn married for nearly 4 years, we have a daughter who is 3, I am currently 6 months ... A: It sounds like your husband is under stress and may be extremely unhappy because of his working ... | |
| Getting him to propose | 5/11/2008 |
| Q: Kiya, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and have lived together for one and a half. ... A: You are very logical. Your letter was right on the button! Yes, forming a spending plan would be ... | |
| help me please... | 5/9/2008 |
| Q: Heres my problem. My girlfriend is currently living in Madrid Spain. We have been dating since ... A: Brian, I completely understand how hard it is for you. Being so far away and loving someone so much. ... | |
| Im ready to marry him | 5/4/2008 |
| Q: my partner and i met whilst working in the same waitrose branch, i was attracted to him straight ... A: Well, it sounds as if you have found your match. You both sound so grown up and you have a good head ... | |
| How do I know when I'm ready? | 5/3/2008 |
| Q: I've been with this amazing guy for a couple months now and recently we've been talking about ... A: It sounds like you are pretty amazing yourself! Most 19 year olds feel like they know exactly what ... | |
| Should we marry? | 4/22/2008 |
| Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years, and we've been living together for more than two years. ... A: I know that it does become difficult when you want something and you are not sure if the other wants ... | |
| ex | 4/16/2008 |
| Q: Its Josh. I cant thank you enough for your willingness to work through this with me. Brief ... A: If you were the right one for her, she would have waited as long as the both of you needed so that ... | |
| ex | 4/12/2008 |
| Q: Its Josh. I cant thank you enough for your willingness to work through this with me. Brief ... A: Josh, I still think she didn't think you two were compatible enough. The only way that I can explain ... | |
| Fading love | 4/11/2008 |
| Q: Although we are not technically married, we've been together three years, and living together for ... A: You are at the stage in a relationship when you are over the first love and excitement, although if ... | |
| marriage,and self esteem | 4/8/2008 |
| Q: My name is michelle, I am 36 yrs. old, been married 15 yrs, total, but we had a 3yr seperation. We ... A: I know marriage is difficult when their is tension and lack of communication. 15 years is quite a ... | |
| ex | 4/7/2008 |
| Q: Its Josh. I cant thank you enough for your willingness to work through this with me. Brief ... A: Wow, Just from this letter that you wrote me, I can say that it was probably good that this ... | |
| ex | 4/4/2008 |
| Q: its josh, last question 1. so do you think this issue about me not introducing her to my family ... A: Josh, As I gain more information from you, I am having a feeling that something occurred within the ... | |
| ex | 4/3/2008 |
| Q: its josh, last question 1. so do you think this issue about me not introducing her to my family ... A: Josh, 1. Definitely yes! It wasn't that you were not moving fast enough. Actually, it is usually the ... | |
| ex | 4/1/2008 |
| Q: its josh, last question 1. so do you think this issue about me not introducing her to my family ... A: Josh, 1. No, I do not believe this is why she left, but I do think that it was one of the reasons ... | |
| ex | 3/29/2008 |
| Q: do you maybe think that, since she is a girl who wants to get married soon, that since i didnt ... A: Josh, Meeting the family is very important and should be treated as such. When you meet a girl that ... | |
| ex | 3/26/2008 |
| Q: this may not be directly in this category, but you looked like the most qualified my girlfriend ... A: I do not believe that you did anything wrong. Even if you had invited her to your home or told her ... | |
| ex | 3/21/2008 |
| Q: this may not be directly in this category, but you looked like the most qualified my girlfriend ... A: I'm sorry to hear that she met someone else. From experience, in my business and personally, it ... | |
| ex | 3/20/2008 |
| Q: this may not be directly in this category, but you looked like the most qualified my girlfriend ... A: I truly do not believe that after being with you for more than 5 months, she decided that you were ... | |
| Help! | 3/9/2008 |
| Q: ..I am trying very hard to feel differently about my marriage than I do, but it seems to be getting ... A: Yes, I completely understand your dilemma. It makes it hard for you to say anything or be upset ... | |
| Trial Separation | 3/5/2008 |
| Q: My wife and I have been married for about 9 months now and she has a child who I just love. We ... A: I truly believe that all relationships are salvageable as long as one plays their cards right. If ... | |
| Husband acting like a child when arguing | 2/18/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have been together for 12 years - married 6 and have two children ages 4 and 20 ... A: It sounds like you are doing and saying the right things, as far as I can tell by your letter. You ... | |
| husband | 2/2/2008 |
| Q: Im sending you note in hopes that you can help me,i feel that im at my wites end. i have been ... A: By reading your letter, it seems as if the respect is missing from your marriage. In order to have a ... | |
| seperation | 12/17/2007 |
| Q: my husband and i have been seperated for two weeks now and he says he loves me but wants to be by ... A: In order to truly understand why he has separated, I would have to know more detail and the history ... | |
| Help | 12/14/2007 |
| Q: I am 20 weeks pregnant and have been married for 4 years this is our first child. I work full time ... A: It sounds as if he is nervous about this baby coming into your lives. This is extremely common in ... | |
| should a boyfriend pay her girl friend's debt to ask for marriage | 12/10/2007 |
| Q: I have a question. I'm helping a female friend of mine to find an answer. Should her boy friend ... A: A marriage should never consist of anything else other than true eternal love and a meaningful ... | |
| Marriage | 12/2/2007 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married a little over 2 years. We seemed so happy before we got married ... A: Before you look into divorce, I would try some other alternatives, unless he is abusing you in any ... | |
| does age matter in marriage | 11/29/2007 |
| Q: a couple weeks ago i face one situation and still wondering what should i do. here is the ... A: I was concerned with your first question since you had asked if there was something terrible going ... | |
| does age matter in marriage | 11/26/2007 |
| Q: a couple weeks ago i face one situation and still wondering what should i do. here is the ... A: There is nothing wrong with one partner, even a woman, being older than the other. 5 - 7 years is ... | |
| Kneeling when proposing | 11/20/2007 |
| Q: In movies and on TV, men invariably kneel when they propose. I'm not certain, but I don't think ... A: No. I truly do not know of an exact percentage, but I have known several men that have kneeled down ... | |
| Young marriages | 11/9/2007 |
| Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together for atleast 3 years. We love each other alot. the problem is ... A: I have no doubt that you and your boyfriend love one another and are mature enough to take care of ... | |
| loveless marriage | 10/19/2007 |
| Q: I am from India. Currently I live in united states. I have been married for 4 years now. I was ... A: I know your husband is a good man, but you must be happy and satisfied with the man you will be with ... | |
| trying to reconcile | 10/14/2007 |
| Q: What does it mean when my husband says he doesn't feel anything anymore?? Can we fall in love ... A: The real answer lies within you. Do you truly feel that you were not being a wife that appreciated, ... | |
| my rights | 10/10/2007 |
| Q: I am a single mom, never married. My son is 6 months old. His birth certificate names a different ... A: I suggest that you call an family law attorney right away. They will know exactly what your rights ... | |
| Body language as a source of conflict | 10/9/2007 |
| Q: Kiya, I've been married for close to 6 years now. I am also an introvert. However, in private, I ... A: One of the ways that a partner gains respect for their significant other is to gain respect and ... | |
| Second thoughts | 10/5/2007 |
| Q: Kiya, I am a 32 year old mand and I've never been married before. 8 months ago I asked my now ... A: They just notified me that your question did not come through, therefore I have just received your ... | |
| follow up on wife thinks I look at other women | 9/24/2007 |
| Q: one last question on this topic? My previous question is listed at the bottom of this email. Will ... A: When I said to never get defensive, I just meant to never get mad if she brings up another woman ... | |
| age difference, it would be a problem? | 9/20/2007 |
| Q: I love a man who is 49 years old, and I'm only 28 years old... I can say that there is compatibility ... A: You are both older and no longer children or young adults. This makes a big difference when age is ... | |
| follow up on wife thinks I look at other women | 9/19/2007 |
| Q: I am asking a follow up. I looked at other women unknowingly couple of times initially. But these ... A: The best thing for you to do is to make her feel loved and give her as much attention as possible, ... | |
| Wife thinks I look at women | 9/18/2007 |
| Q: First of all thank you for the great work. I have been married 9 month after three months of ... A: You stated in your letter that "most of the incidents I have not been looking". Does this mean that ... | |
| Hard to find time together | 9/15/2007 |
| Q: this question is a bit different from the other ones on here, I'm not sure if it's the right ... A: You are very blessed to be loved so much. It sounds like everyone is fighting for a little piece of ... | |
| can't figure out fights | 9/13/2007 |
| Q: I've been married for two years now and we've been together (i.e. living together, etc.) for almost ... A: Forgive me for not realizing that she was under this much depression. It sounds as if she is ... | |
| he asked me to marry him and now all we do is fight | 9/11/2007 |
| Q: I have a question about my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, and for the ... A: After being together for 4 years, you both know whether you would like to be together for the rest ... | |
| Vacation | 9/10/2007 |
| Q: My husband and I are expecting our first in February and after being just him and I for the past 10 ... A: No, you are not being selfish. You want to take the vacation money you have and spend it on fun ... | |
| can't figure out fights | 9/9/2007 |
| Q: I've been married for two years now and we've been together (i.e. living together, etc.) for almost ... A: You were 100% correct when you asked at the end of your letter, "Should I not respond so strongly to ... | |
| marriage | 9/4/2007 |
| Q: Respected fellow, my name is Yasir, a male, currently a studenet of medicine. i got married 5 ... A: You should never change yourself for anyone. If someone, especially your wife, wants you to be ... | |
| lazy husbund | 8/22/2007 |
| Q: I don't know what to do anymore at the moment I feel like walking out of this relationship and move ... A: My motto is, "If you have any doubt whatsoever, do NOT do it." When you find someone that you want ... | |
| Is it really just a piece of paper??? | 8/14/2007 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have a set of beautiful 10 month old twins ... A: First of all, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for not getting back to you sooner. We have ... | |
| marriage | 8/7/2007 |
| Q: I would like to prepare myself for marriage but I tend to be controlling, possessive and insecure. ... A: Controlling, possessive and insecure behaviors are traits that all go hand in hand. Most of the ... | |
| help!!!! | 8/3/2007 |
| Q: I have been with my partner for 12 1/2 year. I was 20 and he was 27 when we met. We have 2 children, ... A: I completely understand your willingness to be married with stability for your family. I know that ... | |
| another baby and marriage on the rocks | 7/10/2007 |
| Q: Can anyone help me? We have a two and a half year old and I will be 37 in August. I just found ... A: Everything happens for a reason and this may bring you an unexpected lesson in life that will lead ... | |
| this is a long one | 7/6/2007 |
| Q: Kiya Sakaris. We come from Hebrew background, from Russia. I have known this girl for about 17 – 19 ... A: Sometimes we meet another who we fall in love with at a young age and we want to have a relationship ... | |
| husband miserable and wants to move I don't | 7/3/2007 |
| Q: to make a long story short I've been married for over 12 years and have two beautiful girls 5 and 1. ... A: It sounds to me plain and clear that your husband is miserable. He may feel strapped down and wants ... | |
| Exes and holidays | 6/27/2007 |
| Q: I have been seeing someone rather seriously for 4 months. He has a child with an ex, and they are ... A: You have every right to feel hurt and angry about this situation. Although, it sounds as if he is ... | |
| Just Married | 6/8/2007 |
| Q: I just got married October 2006. My husband and I dated 6 years before we arrived yet did not live ... A: You didn't mention how he was before you became married during your 6 six years of dating, but if he ... | |
| getting over a problem | 6/7/2007 |
| Q: My wife and I cannot seem to get past a particular issue. She doesn't like my best friends wife, at ... A: I am sure your wife is doing this for adequate reason. Your wife has stuck in this relationship this ... | |
| im jealouse and she doesnt listen to my feelings | 6/5/2007 |
| Q: I am 21 and my wife is 16, i know really young, but love doesn't know age, but i really love her and ... A: I can not tell you how common this situation is for a newly married couples. It is usually the woman ... | |
| wanting to get out of the marriage | 6/2/2007 |
| Q: My name is dawn and I am a 33 year old female, with an excellent job, great husband, and a bright ... A: You need to make a decision and you basically have three options. One is to leave your husband and ... | |
| Should I marry him? | 5/28/2007 |
| Q: I ask my bf did he ever go strip club, he said 5 times because of depress and curiosity. One last ... A: I do believe that men can change. He may have been coaxed or went due to friends. Yes, you should ... | |
| is my husband cheating? | 5/19/2007 |
| Q: i have been married for 8 months. my husband is never home he comes home very late at night ... A: There is a huge trust issue here. I'm not quite sure who is not trusting who, or if both of you do ... | |
| Should I marry him? | 5/17/2007 |
| Q: I ask my bf did he ever go strip club, he said 5 times because of depress and curiosity. One last ... A: It sounds as if your boyfriend was testing you to see how you would react to these situations. You ... | |
| is my husband cheating? | 5/16/2007 |
| Q: i have been married for 8 months. my husband is never home he comes home very late at night ... A: Yes, it does sound like your husband is cheating or at least not giving you the respect that you ... | |
| Leave Family Friends For Her Career | 5/1/2007 |
| Q: Question I'm engaged to a young lady who is in the reserves and was active duty for 2 years away ... A: No, you are not being selfish. In actuality, if you did move for her needs, you would resent her in ... | |
| Waiting?? | 4/30/2007 |
| Q: I'm a product of an affair,I'm still waiting to be with this man, all his promises keep me hanging ... A: Sheri, Look into your past. Have you always lived by the edge of your seat? Do you seek excitement? ... | |
| ready for marriage? | 4/29/2007 |
| Q: Greetings! I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. To begin with, my boyfriend and I have ... A: Marriage is a huge commitment and it is very responsible of you to be considering the future. Age is ... | |
| Waiting?? | 4/28/2007 |
| Q: I'm a product of an affair,I'm still waiting to be with this man, all his promises keep me hanging ... A: If you want a long, lasting and loving relationship with someone, whether it is this man or someone ... | |
| Breakup or not | 3/27/2007 |
| Q: I have a really serious problem; I have been into love with a girl a year ago and lately we got ... A: My motto is, "If you have any doubts at all, do not do it!" Every time a person follows their heart ... | |
| help cont'd | 3/23/2007 |
| Q: Okay, I wrote to you not long ago and I just read your responce. I had said that I was getting ... A: It sounds as if you are finding reasons so that you do not have to be emotionally close to him. He ... | |
| Marriage: Asking the Parents | 3/19/2007 |
| Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now. We are both ready for marriage and talk ... A: You sound like you care a great deal about your girlfriend. It also sounds as if you are in a ... | |
| pornography and forgiveness | 3/16/2007 |
| Q: I borrowed my husband's printer one day last year and found numerous downloads of pornographic movie ... A: When a partner that we have trusted and loved for many years, does something that shocks us, we ... | |
| Marriage?? | 3/15/2007 |
| Q: I'm a 22 year old lesbian from Illinois, and I've been dating a dating a woman for three years ... A: Whether you are heterosexual or homosexual, marriage is not a very easy subject when it comes to ... | |
| help | 3/15/2007 |
| Q: I am in trouble and you probably won't get back to me before I am underwater. My sons father and I ... A: I know that you have a son and that you are trying to have a family unit, but if you get married, ... | |
| Prep for long term relationship | 3/15/2007 |
| Q: I've been dating a girl for a while now and we both openly talk about long term plans, marriage, ... A: It sounds as if you found the right person for you and I wish you a long and happy life together. ... | |
| Marriiage | 3/8/2007 |
| Q: I am a 32 year old South African male. I am also single. I heard the myth that if I decide not to ... A: This myth is not correct. There is really no correct age for a male or female to get married. ... | |
| Short Tempered Husband | 2/27/2007 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married for 7 years. been together 10. i've always classified my husband ... A: Sarcasm is one of the most difficult issues to handle, especially if you are dealing with it on a ... | |
| should I marry her | 2/26/2007 |
| Q: I am 43 been married and divorced. She is 26 has 2 twin 8 yr old boys. (the boys are not the issue) ... A: Jealousy is often a tough issue to deal with and usually has to do with an insecurity of some sort. ... | |
| infidelity or not? | 2/5/2007 |
| Q: I have been married for almost 12 years with 2kids. Lately I found out after a lot of questioning ... A: If your husband had visited lap dance clubs and asked for other girls numbers while you have been ... | |
| suiside | 2/1/2007 |
| Q: Considering the fact before she attempted suiside she threaten to find and kill me and fight for her ... A: I would not take this lightly! Go to the police and get a report written along with a restraining ... | |
| suiside | 2/1/2007 |
| Q: I have been with a man for 3 months and he has cheated a nd lied to both of us, in the process of ... A: Your right! It is not appropriate for him to bring her to your home. It would be better for her to ... | |
| help! | 1/25/2007 |
| Q: My husband has been caught many times online and such watching or viewing porn. i have told him how ... A: This addiction affects many men in our world. That is why pornography is so prevalent and makes so ... | |
| Taking Husband's Last Name | 1/25/2007 |
| Q: I'm in a serious relationship, and we are not engaged yet, but plan to be soon. When the issue of ... A: Most likely this will not cause a problem. Many do not even think about what initials spell out, but ... | |
| Is it Normal to keep a Memtal record of minor events that occured 10 to 20 years ago ???? | 1/23/2007 |
| Q: My Spouse (Wife) appears to be keeping a Mental record or a log of minor events that occured 10 - 25 ... A: Most women do not forget a thing that their spouses have done for many years prior. Many of them, ... | |
| feelings of resentment over long hours | 1/18/2007 |
| Q: My husband is 27 and I will soon be 31. We have been married for 1.5 years. We were married right ... A: You sound like a girl that has her act together and this is a very common complaint among mostly ... | |
| help save my marriage | 1/1/2007 |
| Q: We have been together for about 15 years, married for 8 this past year. We have one biological ... A: I have heard so many stories like this one! This situation is extremely common out there. I know you ... | |
| Husband wants a divorce. | 12/28/2006 |
| Q: your help is greatly appreciated. I haven't spoken with him all day, should I continue to leave him ... A: Yes, you should let him have some time alone. Like the saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow ... | |
| Husband wants a divorce. | 12/27/2006 |
| Q: "I've been married for almost 3 years and have known my husband for 6. I have rejected my husband, ... A: I know this is hard for you. It is especially hard when the reality of it sets in. There was ... | |
| My husband won't move or change jobs for my health, does he love me,should I stay, or should I go? | 12/23/2006 |
| Q: I have lived in my current area for 6 years now and I completely hate it due to a lot I can't get ... A: If you tell your husband to change careers for you, he may resent you. I know your health is ... | |
| coworker gift | 12/22/2006 |
| Q: My wife and her coworker did the secret Santa. she got this guy that I think she might have a crush ... A: Sometimes women show little mysterious gestures to others only to get some affection from the one ... | |
| Husband does not want kids | 12/15/2006 |
| Q: Kiya, i have been married for 2 moths and recently found out I'm preganant. My husband said it's too ... A: You should never be forced to do anything that you don't want to do, even by your husband, ... | |
| Cheating | 12/10/2006 |
| Q: My wife told me she wasn't in love with me.She also said that she was seeing someone.But she agrees ... A: I know this is incredibly hard to find out your wife has been cheating and to work on this to stay ... | |
| marriage | 11/9/2006 |
| Q: i was a nominal christian. through a spiritual frnds married brother i came to knw the Lord more and ... A: It seems as though God has forgiven you and has given you a gift(your new fiance) for a reason. God ... | |
| Hubby doesn't want anymore children and I do now. | 10/24/2006 |
| Q: I should start by telling a little background. Both my husband and I have been married before and ... A: Your husband feels guilty about the broken homes that both of your children have gone through. He ... | |
| sex in marriage | 10/19/2006 |
| Q: I am 32 and my wife is 23. We have been married for a little over a year and have been together for ... A: You sound like a caring and devoted husband. Your age difference is most likely not a concern, but ... | |
| My wifes male friends | 10/19/2006 |
| Q: My wifes new career puts her in a situation where she works primarily with men. Recently she asked ... A: Yes, I did mean that when a man and woman are married, they should respect each other's feelings by ... | |
| Marriage of convenience | 10/19/2006 |
| Q: I have a lot of questions about going into marriage-- which I am considering doing, but my situation ... A: From your letter, it sounds like you know yourself very well and you are ready to settle down but ... | |
| Step son who dislikes his soon to be stepfather | 10/17/2006 |
| Q: I've been dating a intelligent and loving mother of 3 boys for the last 3 years. Ages 12, 9, (from ... A: You seem like a great father/step-father! You love all your boys and you are sincerely concerned, ... | |
| My wifes male friends | 10/17/2006 |
| Q: My wifes new career puts her in a situation where she works primarily with men. Recently she asked ... A: After an affair, even if it occured decades ago, it is extremely important to keep your ... | |
Marriage
Answers by Expert:
Kiya Sakaris, C.P.C.C.
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I work primarily with pre-marital couples to those who have been married and are wanting to take on the responsibility of children. I have counseled many couples and families in group settings, as well as consulting individuals on a one-on-one basis. I work with couples all over the nation.
Experience
I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man and have 2 super kids. I am self employed as a relationship and family coach gearing mostly towards couples who are planning to be married.
Publications
Library of Congress
Education/Credentials
Certified Professional Co-Active Coach
Major in Metaphysics
Awards and Honors
Honor Roll/Society and CJSF
Poetry published in Library of Congress
I have been a Girl Scout Co-Leader since 2004
Volunteer for local Community Hospital
I have attended a 6 day course on suicide prevention
Taught science classes to elementary school kids for the past 6 yrs
4.0 GPA college
Past/Present Clients
confidential
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