AboutDr Tim Gladu Expertise I will answer questions in regard to pre-marriage counseling. I will also answer questions on how to find that spouse that God has for you. I also want to make it clear I am not a MD.
Experience I have 14 Years in Ministry. I also have been in Youth Ministry for most of those 14 years.
I have also been happily married for 21 years and have raised 3 Children
Education/Credentials Bachelors degree in Ministry, a Masters in Pastoral Counseling and a
Doctorate in Theology.
Question Respected fellow, my name is Yasir, a male, currently a studenet of medicine. i
got married 5 months back. Despite I got married with my first cousin, it was
purely arranged. We neither had seen eachother nor knew eachother, so the very
mention of marrying with beloved is out of question. My many friends
ridiculously make a mockery of me when they see me having married at just the
start of career. But to tell you the truth, i prefered to get marry because I
wanted a sincere and extremely loyal companion in my life as i had been fed up
seeing a lot of betrayls in my life. So i got married recently. In these five
months I have felt that I am not the kind of man my wife wanted. For about 6
whole years, my wife, before marriage, watched a lot of movies, tv serials, and
hence by seeing tv actors and their specific roles, she had made an ideal figure
in her mind that she wanted "that particular" kind of husband. It is not my
illusion, because for the very first day I requested her that I wont tolerate if
she would violate my trust. She did so twice, what she did is that, whenever we
move to any public place, she starts seeing a male which lures her sight, thus
giving me mental trauma intentionally or unitentionally. I suffered because of
that, and is still suffering.... I dont know what to do, i want to remain loyal
and therefore never thought of parting my ways with her, neither is that a good
option i think. And i also cant mould myself into the very personalities she
likes on media, without realising that fantasy world is different than that of
real in which we have to live with. However she is very good in dealing with my family members which seems that she needs their support in case if i would leash my anger on her. But when it comes to me, she remains off-mood, and many a time she reponded "how smart is that guy, how handsome is abishak bachan, a bollywood star"
She is completely unintrested in me, in short, she wants my family to be on her side so that she can use them against me. Please help.
Answer Yasir,
I do not have to much experience with arranged marriage. My suggestion is for you to get to know what she really wants out of the marriage. If she does not know what she wants then you should tell her what you expect, out of the marriage. Marriage is a matter of pleasing your mate and it also takes a lot of work from both parties. You have to be willing to give as much as you expect to take away from her. If she gives then you have to give. You have to maybe accommodate her to some point, if you expect to get anything from her. If you treat her with respect and tell her how you feel you will have a much better life together.
