Expert: Colin Wee - 6/6/2007

Question
QUESTION: I am 15 year old boy and i have self esteem issues and i also love watching Mixed Martial Art competitions and love to see in movies where people are defendin themselves via martial arts such as Steven Seagal does and Wesley SNipes and Bruce Lee and Jet LI i love them all its just so amazing people can master those arts. I would like to learn one but there are hundreds and i have no idea which one to practice. So i was wonderin if by chance you have any suggestions.

ANSWER: I was reading an article once about a world famous pianist - Horowitz. Apparently after a singularly fantastic concert, someone from the audience came up to him and said he'd give his life if he could play like Horowitz. Upon that the pianist said, "That's what I did."

Self esteem issues are not magically corrected by some commercial school marketing 'confidence,' 'self esteem,' or 'leadership' on their shop front windows. I have had many adults come to my class looking for the same thing - they want what I have. The problem of the matter is that you can't 'get' confidence or self esteem or leadership by just putting on a uniform, getting in line, or shouting at the right time. To gain inner strength, you need to invest your heart and soul, be prepared to give your all, expect to lose whatever confidence you already have, and then allow your private space to get trampled on. To build confidence - the right kind, real martial arts will have to tear you down and form you into a focused individual who is able to see how he relates to the world at large and is objective about real fears and self ability.

Frankly, movies will get you into trouble. They don't portray martial arts accurately. There is no magic formula, there is no self defence devoid of risk, there is no conflict resolution without the chance that you will get hurt. In fact, most skills you see on the screen are the kind of skills that will get you into trouble.

However, if you are inspired to move that way, and can use this enthusiasm to get off your couch -- then I'd highly recommend you to start NOW. Now is a great time.

Much of what I tell people is about the choice of instructor rather than the choice of style. You should feel comfortable with an instructor who guides and inspires you and has an open minded attitude towards training. I like instructors who take the time to upskill themselves - understanding new developments in sport science, researching traditional aspects of martia arts, and knowing where he wants to take their practice.

Use this as a base, stick with it for a couple of years and take the opportunity to check out as many martial arts seminars that you can afford to go to. This should educate you towards other possibilities when you complete your 'base' training.

Good luck.

Regards,

Colin

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok i see what you are saying i will try to do that but i want to et started im not lazy and i realize that about thy movies im just saying if the movies look like that the real arts would be twice as good and they already inspire me.. i want an art that will truly help me with my self defense and my self respect i want one that focuses on defense and not attacks. which art would you suggest i try? i was thinking something like aikido? or maybe you have a better idea?

Answer
I'm not saying you're lazy. Sometimes even the most motivated person needs an extra juice of spirit to get themselves into a martial arts group.

I have great respect for Aikido. However, most schools do not teach Aikido in a very practical environment. There are those gems however that will bring you to heights that even I cannot fathom. But by and large, Aikido is going to be a hit and miss if you're talking about self defence.

Self defence ... but only in defence? That's going to be a tough one. Self defence is not only about parrying, covering, or blocking. It is about being objective oriented - stopping the fight, reducing the risk, and/or escaping. Sometimes this requires an aggressive mindset and the right intent for self defence to work. Of course, you can do this all in a pacifist spirit -- but this is a personal issue.

If you'd like, I might suggest trying wing chun or a filipino stick art. You might also benefit from Kempo Karate. It's hard to provide options given I don't know what options you currently face.

Best of luck!

Regards,

Colin