You are here:

Mastering Anger/Help Me For Controlling My Anger


I am 21 year old girl and I got angry daily on minute things and  also starts shouting. I even starts hitting my brother and mother, I can not control my anger, even people do not likes me please,help me in my anger control

Hello Khusboo

I am sorry you're having so much trouble with your anger. I want you to consider that you are a good person, and that is why your anger bothers you so much. I'm sure it's very upsetting to you that you cannot control your anger. I will try to help you.

The first thing is to understand that your anger is there for a reason. I will help you find the reason for your anger, then I will give you some tools for healing the emotional wounds underlying your anger, and some techniques for managing your anger going forward.

You will find a step by step process for understanding, healing and managing your anger in these anger management activities. Please follow all of the instructions on that page.

You will learn to journal from your anger, which will help you to soothe and calm yourself. You will also learn to journal about any past emotional trauma you may have experienced. The extreme kind of anger you describe very likely comes from some type of past emotional trauma.

And finally, you will learn to journal about the good things in you and your life. This will help you to shift your mental focus from what is wrong, bad and broken in your life to what is good, right and working.

This is not a quick or easy process, Khusboo, but you can do it. You have a good heart, and that is your best anger management resource.

Believe in yourself and your good heart, and follow my recommendations.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

Mastering Anger

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


William DeFoore, Ph.D.


I can answer questions about: * How to deal with your own anger * How to deal with somebody else's anger * How to help an angry spouse * How to help an angry child or adolescent * How to let go of resentment and forgive * How to keep anger from ruining your life and your relationships * How to let go and get out of abusive relationships


I have been in practice as a counselor for over 38 years. I have published two books on anger and 10 audio CD programs on anger, health and building healthy relationships. I have helped thousands of people overcome their anger by healing the cause instead of just treating the symptoms. I have a positive approach, and believe in the basic goodness of each person. Anger is basically healthy, but when it is expressed in unhealthy ways it is very destructive, and that's why most people think anger is bad. Learning to understand and accept yourself for who you are is the first step to healing and recovery from anger issues.

I am the author of: Anger: Deal With It, Heal With It, Stop It From Killing You. Health Communications, Inc. 2004. Anger Among Angels: Shedding Light On The Darkness Of The Human Soul. Health Communications, Inc. 2000. Serai: Bringing The Children Home. Wingspan Press, 2007.

B.A. Sociology; M.A. Clinical Psychology; Ph.D. Counselor Education; Licensed Professional Counselor. You can view my full resume here.

Awards and Honors
Adjunct Faculty with the Cooper Wellness Program, of the Cooper Aerobics Center in Dallas Texas.

Past/Present Clients
All client information is kept confidential.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]