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About David Carney
Expertise
This information is intended for adults. Please do not submit a question if you are under age 18. I can answer a variety of questions about masturbation for both males and females: When an individual is beginning to masturbate(especially females), there can be so many questions and some just need a few tips to get started. I also address special interest topics such as 'how can I make it feel better when I masturbate?', body movement and sounds that happen during masturbation, prolonged masturbation, extending the plateau phase, multiple orgasm, and improving intensity of orgasm. Dont be apprehensive about asking what you need to know. Recent statistics show that 75% of women and almost 100% of men masturbate by their 18th birthday. Masturbating is a normal part of growing and the experiences can be stimulating , refreshing, and satisfying for both males and females.

Experience

Past/Present Clients
I have been privileged to help both women and men via email and instant messaging
Masturbating is beneficial for both sexes. Females have more to gain from it than males. During masturbation females learn what it takes to satisfy their urges and cravings and find the sexual release their body needs. I have helped many young ladies achieve their first orgasm. One middle-age woman who was not sure she had ever experienced an orgasm, began to masturbate to orgasm 2 to 4 times a week after we worked together for about 2 months. Another woman experienced her first episode of multiple orgasm as she experimented with the exercises and assignments given her. Some have been helped to build up to more intensely satisfying orgasms, or simply to make it feel better, to learn to get extreme sexual pleasure during their time of relaxing and personal enjoyment, even if there is no orgasm; its OK. Maybe I can help you make it feel good. Let me try.

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Masturbation - emotional connections to orgasms

Expert: David Carney - 10/29/2009

Question
Hey David, I am 20 I have been masturbating since I was like 10 and have always been very in tune with sex, growing up sneaking and porn and imitating what i saw.I always considered myself more advanced i actually went through a stage where i was convinced i was going to be a porn star. I was exposed to sex a lot growing up and became sexually active too young and am completely comfortable talking about sex. Also when i was 11 an older man (21) took advantage of my "need for male attention". I didn't know it was wrong, at the time i took it as a compliment that an attractive older guy was paying attention to me and went on to have my first kiss and so forth all within a day of knowing this man. My family still doesn't know and I didn't think it was 'bad' until i told my first real boyfriend who made me see that it was wrong and it isn't supposed to be that way.
I have been with different men but only 1 has been able to make me squirt (I cant even make myself squirt). We were together for 3 years. I had no idea what was happening when it happened the first time, i thought i had peed and was so embarrassed. He can only make me squirt (which isn't as much of a release to me) but when it happens I am not in control I cant even think about what i was thinking about at the time. its like this one position hits my G spot and my body does its own thing. When I masturbate I use a combination of clitoral stimulation with a tiny bit of insertion simultaneously and end up having like a vaginal muscle spasm within 30 seconds. Afterwards I'm breathing heavy and most of the times laying on my stomach still wearing clothes and usually end up falling asleep afterwards I get urges throughout the day, my pants will rub me or I'll just be sexually curious and read stuff online and get aroused. I think about sexual things while I'm masturbating that i always thought were normal but apparently not all women think about forcefully having sex or 'kinky' things such as being tied up and getting talked dirty to, or taking advantage of,to get themselves off. would you say that the reason why thinking about this type of behavior makes me aroused because of my childhood experience? Or am I just a "freak" that needs strong emotional connection to have an orgasm? My new boyfriend has suggested that i may have a mental block which is not allowing myself to orgasm...is this possible?? would you say i have a "healthy" sex drive?? i love your answers!! thanks alot

Answer
Hello Sarah,
I enjoyed reading your quetion. And thanks for the sweet comment. Is there any particular answer you enjoyed?

So were you able to get orgasms when you were around 10? Your sex drive is interesting. Your childhood experience probably does play into your arousal and your sexual thoughts. And let's get one things straight honey, you are not a freak. You are a young woman with needs and you have learned some ways to get your needs met and you are still exploring to have more complete sexual release. I commend you for that. Thank you for your explicit explanation of your sexual activities and the responses you feel in your body.

You mentioned being kissed when you were 11. Did it go further than that? Do these early experiences bother you now? If they dont, then that is wonderful and I'm not trying to dredge anything up. Its just that if they do bother you, you might want to explore your memeries. You may come op with some answers toyour difficulty getting a satisfying orgasm now. I think thats's waht I saw in your comments.

Did I understand you correctly? Do you not feel satisfied after you vaginal spasm. You said your pants rub on you later and then you get aroused thru the day. Are you wanting to have a more intense orgasm with satisfying feeling of complete release from your sexual tension?

Please tell me more about the need you feel and also about your masturbating. Do you have good satisfying orgasms when you have sexual intercourse or oral sex? How often do you masturbate, and how often do you have sex with a parner? You seem willing to communicate openly and I apprecitate that. Tell me as much as you can. I assure you , some of us will benefit from everything you say.

Thank you again Sarah. Do you sometimes masturbate without your clothes on? Do you sometimes rub beside your clit or directly on it? And what about toys? You are very sexy, and I think you probably enjoy sex more than most women.

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