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Masturbation/talking to someone


QUESTION: oh and i forgot to say he is 2 years older than me does that make any difference?

ANSWER: If he is two years older than you, then it's a virtually certainty that he is experienced masturbating.  It also would be easier for him to talk to you about it.  And I really, really don't think he will think you are wanting to masturbate with him when you are two years younger and you are the one who starts the conversation.  He would probably be happy to have the chance to help you.  I say talk to him.

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QUESTION: why would it be easier to talk to me because he's older, i'm scared to death of talking to him about touch, and why can you be sure he doesn't think i wanna do it with him?  and are you sure he masturbates, he's almost 16?

ANSWER: Hey, congratulations on saying "masturbates."  I don't think you've used that word before.  Congratulations!  If you can say it to me, you can say it to your friend.  You're intimidated by talking to him about masturbating in part because he's older.  He is less intimidated by you because you're younger.  That's how it works.  He will not be afraid of talking to you; anyway, you said he was your friend.  Friends talk about this stuff.  If he's almost 16, there is about a 98 percent chance that he masturbates and does it often.  So don't worry about that at all.

He won't think you want to do it with him.  Anyway, since you don't want to, if it becomes an issue, you can just say you don't want to.  And that will be the end of it.

I hope you will discuss masturbating and then write me a nice report on how it went.  You will do fine.

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QUESTION: yeah i'm surprised i used that word too.  i think i got it in my head from reading you use it so much.  anywayy i know i could never say it out loud.

I thought I sent you some lines earlier that did not use the word masturbate.  You should have been working on being conversational.  You are never going to be able to say the word unless you are comfortable talking about the concept.  You seem to be OK discussing the concept with me without using the word.  It ought to be easy for you to do that with a friend too.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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