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Masturbation/Masturbation and boys


I posted a quetsion in the female section that might have belonged here so here goes.  I don't know if you're the right person to ask but I'm worried about my 14 yo son.  I think he has started masturbating.  My friend told me when her son got to be that age she started giving him bottles of lotion for lube and putting boxes of tissue by his bed.  I admire her proactiveness, and I am OK with the kleenex but I don't think I could be so bold to offer lotion to my son.  Do most boys need lotion and what do you think I should do?

I answered you on the female page but have no problem answering here too.

Most parents aren't so proactive with their children.  I think most children would like it better if they were.  You can certainly give him a bottle of lotion without mentioning masturbation.  Surely you know that lotion is used for a variety of purposes besides a lube for masturbating.  So you can give him the lube (and the tissue) without saying anything about that.  Keep in mind it's your job as the parent to answer his questions about masturbating if he has any.  

And most boys do need lube.  Most at your son's age get by with household products like lotion or hair conditioner.  If you really want to be a hero someday, get him a bottle of lube made especially for sex.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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