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Masturbation/daughter and friend


QUESTION: Hi, I a single da to Ellie my 12 year old daughter who is growing up fast!!  On a Thursday she does ballet with her friend after school, after that they come home together and they have dinner at ours, Ellies friend Jo then gets collected about 8 o'clock.  Both girls are developing and usually come home still in their leotards under their track suits.  Recently they have both gotten into playing tickling and wrestling in the lounge and a few times I peeked in just to make sure it wasn't getiing too rough, a few times I have noticed the girls tickling each other around the crotch of their leotards which have really ridden up showing the outline of their sex.  Is it ok to let them be and do girls get sexually aroused doing this kind of thing??


ANSWER: Well this could be harmless fun but may have unknown sexual intentions. When we are young we don't have much real knowledge of sexual actions. So what may have started as simple tickling and wresteling may have ended up as mutual masturbation and heavy petting. I don't think it would be appropriate to give the talk to her friend but you should take your daughter aside and sit down with her and explain what masturbation is and that it is normal and should only be done alone and in private.

If this continues or you notice that it is not your daughter who initiates the "tickling" and it's her friend then you should take her parents aside and explain what you are seeing. They should also give their daughter the sex talk as well.

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QUESTION: Thanks your reply was really helpful and I am considering how to go about it.  Another question I have is my daughter spends quite a lot of time in the house in her leotards or bikini or panties, sometimes her vagina shape is really visible beneath the fabric and the outline is clearly visible, is this an indication she is sexually aroused??

Well female arousal signs are sometimes clearly visible and other times the swelling of the labia and ares around the vAgina could just be a normal size. When a female gets aroused several things happen first they get a flood of the chemicals involved in arousal (I can't remember the name of the chemical) then the physical signs start. First her breathing becomes slightly labored and heavy. Then her vagina begins to produce lubricant and loosen up. Then finally the labia and areas around the vagina begins to swell and become puffy like and very sensitive.

Now if your looking st your daughters genital areas in a material such as a leotard or bikini these are very tight fitting material and thus the outlines can be easier to make out even if she's not aroused. Now on the other hand she may be wearing this material for a few reasons either she just likes the outfits; she is An exhibitionist meaning she gets aroused by knowing someone is looking at her genitals; or she has a fetish wear tight fitting clothes rubbing up against her genitals is arousing. Many people who have this fetish like to wear spandex and some even have a full latex body Suit.

If you want to chat further feel free to email me about this or anything else you may be concerned about.  


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