Masturbation/masturbation

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QUESTION: hi, I'm a 30 years old male. since i am 15, i have been rubbing my penis with bed once in a day during my sleep. next day i used to feel very bad and guilty. then i decided not to do this again. but again when i go to bed during sleeping i used to do the same. moreover, since i am 22, i have been masturbating 2/3 times a day. i mean, now i stopped rubbing penis with bed, but i started masturbating. this i continued till April last year. since then i reduced masturbating once in a week or 2/3 times in a month. in 2007, when i first got ready to do intercourse with a girl, i got ejaculated before i penetrated into her vagina. after 3/4 minutes, i penetrated but my penis was semi-hard. i stayed like 3/4 minutes. i became so nervous and unconfident after that. still i continued doing masturbating till i am 29.
   now, i am scared and afraid to face a girl. would i be able to regain my hard penis? i lost lot of stamina. i feel tired. sometimes, i lose memories. i feel weak. can u tell me whether i ruined my sexual life already? i already stopped masturbating after reading some articles in this site. now, would i be able to get my sexual life back? if no, what should i do now to get my sexual life back and to get my penis hard? how can i stop premature ejaculation? if you give me suggestions and instructions, i would be grateful. thanks

ANSWER: If you mean you are rubbing your penis against your bed to masturbate, that is a dangerous method called prone masturbation.  It has been shown to be a cause of sexual dysfunctions in males.  In order to get over problems caused by prone masturbation, you need to stop masturbating that way and learn to masturbate the way most males do, by stroking up and down the penis with one hand.    You can learn more about prone masturbation at http://www.healthystrokes.com.

Once you have given up prone masturbation, it would still be a good idea to abstain from masturbating for 3-4 days before trying sexual intercourse with a woman again.  As you get more experienced at sexual intercourse, you can reduce that interval.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi, thanks for your quick response. i told you that i have already stopped rubbing against bed. my concern is that for the last 7 years  i have been masturbating regular way excessively, i mean 15-20 times in a week. my question is - 1.did i ruin my penis?
         2.is there any hope for me if i completely stop masturbating?
         3.would i be able to stop premature ejaculation as i ejaculated even before i penetrated?
         4. how can i be cured from effects of over-masturbation?

Answer
No, you didn't ruin your penis.  Even males with a history of prone masturbation can become normal.  You don't have to stop masturbating completely, and I don't think you could anyway.  There are lots of ways to work on premature ejaculation.  I recommend that you start by cutting down to masturbating only once a day or so.

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

Expertise

I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.

Experience

I am the author of the web site HealthyStrokes.com and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

Education/Credentials
I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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