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Masturbation/Boyfriend looks at girls with penises


My boyfriend looks at porn on his computer. Sometimes I secretly check what he has been looking at to make sure he isn't looking at anything weird like rape or children or animals (not that he has ever given me a reason to think he's into these things). I recently came across something that concerns me. He has these anime-style drawings of women with penises. I have never seen gay porn on his computer, but I'm concerned that these pictures mean he's gay or bi-curious. We have been together 7 years and I've never suspected that he is gay, until now. Otherwise we have a wonderful relationship and sex life. However I haven't been able to have sex with him since making this discovery.

I don't know anything about anime, but is there a way you could discuss this with him?  I think if he were gay, he would be into men with penises.  I don't know what, if anything, a fantasy about women with penises means.  If you're having a wonderful relationship and sex life, why the snooping?


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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