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Masturbation/Is It Supposed to Hurt?


I'm 16 and still a virgin. Over a couple of years I've experimented with myself, just to see what it's like. I've never inserted anything in my vagina bigger or longer than my middle finger. So a few weeks ago, my best friend bought me a vibrator (she's 18) and told me that I could keep it if I wanted to. Being the curious person I am, I accepted, and tried it out.
The first couple of times I only used the vibration part on my clitoris. Trust me, that little blue vibrator became my best friend that month. So, a few days ago I was being a little daring and decided to try and put it in me. I've heard all the horror stories on how it was really painful the first time someone had sex, so I was prepared for the worst. It took me around 10 minutes just to build up enough courage to even TRY to put it in. But when I did... I didn't realize I had it in. All I realized was that It was a lot shorter than before. I pulled out my mirror and looked - sure enough the vibrator was in me. It wasn't even on. I barely felt anything! Is it supposed to be like that? There was no pain, no pleasure, it just made me feel like I had to pee. Is there something wrong with me or is that normal?

No, masturbating internally isn't supposed to hurt, but some females report pain or discomfort the first time they do it or the first time they have intercourse.  It isn't as much about the hymen or even the vagina itself as it is the vaginal wall muscles.  Admittedly, most females haven't used their vaginal wall muscles for anything the first time they insert something, so they can be rigid like other muscles are when they haven't been used.

It's good that you were relaxed and didn't feel any pain.  It's also not too unusual that you didn't feel any pleasure.  For most females, masturbating internally is an acquired taste.  I would suggest trying again, but this time masturbate clitorally while the vibrator is inside.  You might notice different feelings originating in your vagina as you masturbate, and if that happens, you can experiment by sliding the vibrator in and out or turning it on to see if it makes a difference.  

There is nothing wrong with you and I strongly suspect you'll be masturbating internally before long.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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