Masturbation/erectile problem


Hey Steven

I'm 21-year-old male and have a an erectile problem. I'm completely healthy, but I have a problem maintaining an erection till ejaculation. Because, ever since I first started masturbating, I've had a very weird masturbation technique. It involves lying on my stomach and massaging my flaccid penis with my full weight on it. Needless to say, this technique has caused me problems when I try to have sex with a real partner, because it seems to have somehow trained my brain to experience the most pleasure when my penis is flaccid and has a lot of force used on it, which is why it always goes soft at some point during sex.

I've tried doing something about this by employing a more 'conventional' masturbation technique. But even that only helps when I use my hand (actual vaginal intercourse still not pleasurable enough to maintain erection, let alone ejaculate). And even then it often goes soft towards the later stages of arousal, at which point I have to use significantly more pressure to reach climax.
I've also tried not masturbating altogether for a longer period of time to try and 'unlearn' this pattern. But my will-power gives in a few days in.

It's quite frustrating, since I deeply wish to be able to have actual sex with a partner and keep my erection all the way through. I've thought of going for Viagra, but that's really not something I want to have to resort to at my age:((

Can you help me?

I'm not Steven, but I will answer anyway.

The position you describe is prone -- lying on your stomach.  Masturbating in the prone position is a cause of sexual dysfunctions in men, especially erectile dysfunction and retarded ejaculation -- not being able to ejaculate when you're ready.

I would suggest getting a prescription for a small dose of Viagra, perhaps as little as 12 mg.  They make it in 25, 50, and 100 mg doses, so you might need a pill cutter.  Your doctor would have to make the prescription.

You might not need the Viagra for long, only to get used to partnered sex.

Please give up both prone masturbation and flaccid masturbation forever.  You can learn more at, and there's even an online support group you can join there.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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