QUESTION: Hi my name is kim I'm 19 and I have been having sex for a few years know and I have never had a orgasm.I have tried masturbating I can get aroused but I feel like every time I get close to have a orgasm it jusr goes a way.?

ANSWER: Many females find it takes them a lot of time and practice before they can have an orgasm.  It's definitely easier to learn masturbating instead of in intercourse.  The important thing is to be both relaxed and focused.  Try to put your mind on something arousing.  Pictures help for most males and many females.  Just enjoy what you're doing, and you might feel an orgasm when you least expect it.  Practice makes perfect.

Feel free to ask me more questions!

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QUESTION: Is there any thang else that I can try cause I have been do that for a few years know and nothing is working

Experimenting with different kinds of lubes and toys might make a difference.  There are two well-known brands of water-based lube on the market, K-Y and Astroglide.  They both come in liquid and gel format.  Trying one of each might give you some different sensations.  Lots of women use dildos or vibrators.  A small battery-powered vibrator might be helpful for you.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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