So I am female (22). Always felt like one and was happy/comfortable being one. This one incident when I was around 14/15 doesn't make any sense to me though.

So I was sex chatting this guy and got really horny. I started encouraging him to masturbate and I kind of got carried away and I was instructing him on how to do it (because he was really innocent haha).

I was totally imagining it wrong and told him to open his palm and kind of bang it against the tip of his penis because that was what I imagined would feel good. Its weird, pathetic and funny I know but bear with me here.

I was really disappointed when he said it hurt.
But the thing is, when I was imagining how it would feel for him I thought the feeling would be fantastic. Forget the fact the I was imagining it wrong. I just thought the feeling would be amazing and at that time I kind of wished I had a penis. It was like I was jealous of the fact that he got to experience it (experience what I imagined anyway). Because I was imagining it to be so fantastic. Probably better than a female orgasm.

Then I kind of just told myself the female orgasms are really nice and I should just be happy with that and didn't really think about it that much after that.

Is that weird? Has anyone else experienced anything like that? It doesn't seem normal. Its like I had penis-envy or something.

No, that isn't weird.  Most people have had strange ideas about the other gender's sexual organs (or their own) at one time or another.  You modeled your concept of male masturbation after female masturbation, in which the female strikes part of her hand against the clitoris or the area around it.  

I'm sure your chat buddy learned to masturbate by stroking his penis soon after your conversation.

Lots of males and females are jealous of the other gender's orgasms.  I don't think you're abnormal.  You learned to enjoy what you have.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I write from the point of view that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary to sexual health. I am able to answer questions in all areas of sexuality.


I am the author of the web site and have been answering questions about sexuality (especially masturbation) from both males and females for over 13 years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions in the world.

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