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QUESTION: I'm a grandfather that shares his house with my wife, daughter, and three grandchildren. My wife has developed serious emotional issues that is affecting everyone to the point that we can no longer tolerate her detrimental actions. What rights do I have to stay in my house and provide for my daughter and grandchildren (one is not my biological grandchild and she has legal custody)if I file for divorce. Is there such a thing as shared residency? Do I have to move out? /What options do I have.
Thank you for any help you may provide.

ANSWER: Dear Ken,
Every situation is different and states vary in their family law.  Is your wife the mother of your daughter?  Is it possible to get your wife some help or at least attempt to, rather than just filing for a divorce, first.  I am not an attorney, and I can't offer actual legal advice, but if your wife has developed these serious issues, there could be an underlying cause.  Perhaps you should speak with her doctor or a pastor if you have one, or seek some sort of counseling, even if you go alone.  Documentation is always helpful even if the circumstances do result in divorce.  Are her detrimental actions causing the children harm?  I think you really need to seek some sort of intervention assistance before seeking a divorce.  I'm not sure I understood the question regarding a shared residency.  I wouldn't think you'd want to move out and leave your daughter and grandchildren, but if you somehow negotiated a shared residency, wouldn't your wife still be there?  Paperwork doesn't usually change anyone's behavior, other than making them keep distances . . .  I don't think you should move out at this time, but I don't know what you're living with.  If you are providing for the family, that is also an issue to consider.   
I truly recommend seeking intervention of some sort before seeking a divorce.  
I wish you well.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz
www.thelandofgoshen.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for your response! Yes, Our daughter and her two children are our biological family, only the third grandchild is from her son. My wife has been to a doctor and they tell her it is just stress (partially true) and we have tried to get her to seek individual or group counseling and have even considered some sort of intervention. I would only take divorce action if there is no other alternative. I am the support of the family and would find it extremely difficult to support two households and would not leave my daughter and her children in that environment as her rants and rages and overall mental state is worrisome at best. My question is if I file for divorce, would I be forced to leave my home until we finalize our agreement. I also hope that beginning divorce procedures might jolt her to get the help she needs to possibly save our family.
Thank you again for your kind help!
Ken

Answer
Dear Ken,
I've done some checking and I cannot find any case in which a non abusive spouse was forced to leave the home pending a divorce.  In many divorces, the couple has already separated, before filing.  I've actually known people who have remained in the same household throughout the divorce proceedings, even having social lives . . . I've also read about situations in which couples remain in the same home sharing expenses after the divorce.  The real issue here is, even with a divorce, she may not leave . . . I believe if you file first, without any suggestion of leaving, there'd be no automatic reason to cause you to have to leave.  Again, I'm not an attorney, and I can't find any cases, outside of abuse, in which the living arrangements were forced apart before the decree was granted.  Considering the state of your wife's stability, as you've indicated, I'm not sure what her reaction will be.  Maybe this will "jolt" her as you hope into seeking help, or maybe it will escalate the situation.  It sounds like you're leaning toward filing, so be sure your attorney has all the information to protect your rights in this situation, and the children's best interests are considered, as well.
I'm truly sorry for what you are going through.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz  

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Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger

Expertise

I can answer questions regarding G~d given rights of men. As a woman, I can answer many questions regarding the destructiveness of feminism, both to men and women. I cannot answer what it is to be a man in a time in this world in which men have been discounted and disrespected.

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minister, counseled men regarding divorce, 'abuse accusations,' court ordered, anger management. Actually was removed from YWCA volunteer list for my belief in the Bible and support of men, rather than feminism.

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