Expert: Rev. Gregory S. Neal - 7/29/2009

Question
If you are getting married in a Methodist church, is it "protocol" for the pastor of that church to have to be a part of the ceremony. The pastor conducting the ceremony is a friend of the family and a Methodist pastor, but why is it "protocol" for the home pastor to "have" to be included in the ceremony?

Answer
It is a matter of pastoral authority as well as "good protocol" that the appointed pastor at least authorize all weddings in the churches to which they are appointed as pastor-in-charge.  All ministerial, pastoral and sacramental functions in a UM church are conducted under the authority, oversight, and supervision of the appointed pastor of the church.  It is the pastor's duty and responsibility to ensure that all worship services are properly conducted in accordance with Christian teachings and the Discipline of the United Methodist Church.  This is so by virtue of their appointment by the Bishop as pastor-in-charge of the church; they are "in charge" and they are responsible, for good or for ill, for all the services that are conducted in their church.  

Hence, even if the minister officiating in the marriage ceremony is an ordained United Methodist minister, it still remains the case that proper protocol and Disciplinary authority requires that the appointed pastor, who has responsibility for all ministerial functions in that church, at least give their consent to the ceremony and to the minister performing it.  It is not necessary that they be present and participate in the service -- although, if that is their wish, it is their right and responsibility, and such an invitation should, by all means, be extended to the pastor in charge when permission is being requested to conduct the service -- but it is extraordinarily bad "form," as well as a violation of pastoral authority, for laity to schedule weddings and invite outside clergy without clearing it -- in advance -- with the appointed pastor-in-charge of the church.  Indeed, it is considered "proper form" by most clergy to require that they be invited by the pastor-in-charge before they will accept an invitation to conduct a wedding in someone else's charge.

Is there some reason why you do not wish the pastor of a particular church to be involved in a specific wedding?  If I can help, please feel free to write again.