Mexican Culture/Mexican Mother-in-law
Moria wrote at 2009-10-16 07:14:31
anyway, I wonder if something is being lost in translation because in spanish, at least in mexico, calling someone your baby or your kid is used to express affection, not an actual parent-child relationship.
Mexican grandmothers are extremely proud of their grandchildren just for being their grandchildren, and also very proud of being 'grandparents'.
As for her asking who the baby likes better, It is not common, that question is considered childish in Mexican culture, only seen asked between children or between adults and kids.
Mother in law from hell wrote at 2010-04-19 07:10:44
Sorry to hear the bad news! Maybe if you hear my situation it will make you feel better. I married a man that lives with his mother, her husband and her grandmother that they would move out. That would be the reasonable thing to do! No...after 3.5 years they're still living with us and the privacy issue is really bad. So from the begining I told my husband let move and maybe get a duplex...hopelly they will get the hint. Well with the economy be as it is, we cannot get a favorabl price for the house and we are struck with the big family plus my mother-in-law want to bring his brother and wife from Mexico to live with us. This is a nightmare. I worked so hard to put myself to college and now I have sacrifies my privacy b/c my mother in law does not and will never understand that a newlywedd couple needs to live alone and raise their kids alone.
AR wrote at 2012-03-07 00:05:40
I never knew how lucky I was when my mexican husband and I moved FAR away, due to a job transfer, from the city in which my mexican-in-law lived. For 4 to 5 years I lived in the same city as my mexican-in-laws, which was tough. At the time of the job transfer I was unaware of how God was watching over me, by getting me away from my meddlesome mexican-in-laws, especially the mexican mother-in-law and her two mehas.
I'm from a background where my father was 100% German and my mother is of Irish and Scottish descent. The freedom my parents extended to me once I turned age 18 was not something my mexican husband experienced. His mexican mother was way too involved in what he wanted to do in life, and would give her opinion when it wasn't wanted.
In retrospect, had I seen the BIG PICTURE in regard to cultural differences I would have NEVER married a mexican man, for a whole host of reasons.
I'm not much on what I've seen of this "familia" thing. This thing that mexican families are sooooo close is nonsense to me. I think the "familia" thing and "the mexican family being sooooo close" is really nothing more than sticking noses in each other's business and being meddlesome. The structure of the mexican family, where the kids have to live at home till marriage, seems to stunt and delay maturity, making it difficult for mexicans to compete with their anglo counterparts in the work force. People don't learn how to survive until they're on their own and have to swim or sink. Leaving at home after high school or college stunts growth.
My mexican husband, thanks to a corporate transfer and the fact we've lived away from in-laws for 22 years, BROKE AWAY from the control and influence of his dominating and controlling mother and her mehas.
I wish my mexican mother-in-law well now that's she old, and wish my mexican sister-in-laws well, but I wish I'd never had them for in-laws, as it's disappointing to have in-laws one can't become friends with. My mexican mother-in-law looked to my mexican husband as though he were her husband, and my mexican sister-in-laws looked to my husband as though he were their father. That dysfunctional thinking took a toll on family relationships, even with the oldest son who died, and whose wife the mexican in-laws did NOT like.
I lucked out as my mexican husband stood by me when my mexican mother-in-law and her meha tried to undermine our marriage. My mexican husband was forced to choose between his wife or his mother and sisters, and he choose me.
Butch wrote at 2013-02-21 13:58:17
I suggest a moderate response, one that focuses on you getting some support (via a therapist) so that you can cultivate some detachment from your mom-in-law and not "react". Latinas are notoriously co-dependent, enmeshed with family-members and male-focused in their views and behaviors. I know because my mom is Cuban. Your husband is unlikely to cut the umbilical cord, by the way. She seems likely to seriously guilt-trip him if he tries.