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Mexican Culture/Mexican men not divorcing


I have been in a relationship for almost 5 years with a (sad to say) married Mexican man. He is educated, has a good job, hard worker of course a good lover, never abusive. He has cheated on me once that he has admitted to, but I know it's more. And it was with his wife. He promised me when this all started he would get a divorce, I'm the one he lives for and loves every day. I have heard more excuses than I care to remember the last "he just hadn't thought about it". My heart is at the point of being numb I know I will never trust or love another. I have never put up with anything like this before, now I have promised myself if he hasn't filed by mid January we are done. I havn't told him of my deadline and feel like I should. Can you shed some light on why he won't get a divorce?

Hi, LT:
The divorce taboo in Mx is still big. I am not sure why your man won't divorce, but if I were to look at it culturally, I would say it has something to do with a) the catholic no-no to divorce and the b)weird male ideology that women are a little bit like property... Now, to explain: Mexico is still a predominantly catholic country and even those who are not catholic anymore have grown up in a very catholic way. Divorce is a big no-no in most Mexican traditional communities. Funny, since having a lover or a "casa chica" (a second family outside the marriage) is not taboo, it is actually very common. Many men in Mexico have a wife and children with them, then they also have a family with their lover and they are very proud of it... it makes them more of a man and they brag about it: they are more of a man because they can keep two (or more) families. But the Wife is the most important of their partners: first because they are legally (religiously) married and because they are sanctioned by the man's mother (very important to have mom's approval), but also because they are the right woman "socially". The man will probably brag about the extra women he can keep around him, but the only real woman in his social or community life will be the wife.
Bottom line... chances are a married man will not leave his wife in any culture, unless there is something really wrong with his marriage. But there are quite a few cultural things that might be influencing your man.  

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