Mexican Culture/Gratitude, Mexican Women
WAWIS wrote at 2007-04-07 04:43:10
I totally desagree. I am mexican and I do think it is a cultural problem.
Some Mexican women, and I include myself, want to receive before giving back. For me 3 months dating is nothing. We have a saying that says "You want blue, you have to pay for it".
Will she be grateful?. I bet you she will. But not now. If you really like her, you have to continue doing the same thing you have done till now. Probably 3 months more.
I bet this girl has a lot of self-confidence. This type of woman thinks she deserves all your effor due to one important reason: she is virgin. If you girlfriend is virgin, then no way should you expect a "Thank you". You will get it, but not yet. You have to earn it. You have to be patient if you really like her.
If she is not a virgin, give her 1 month more. If she does not show gratitute, then say bye-bye to the gold digger.
The other advice is that she is family-oriented. Try to win over her family. Then you will start seeing some BIG payback.
Ve. wrote at 2007-09-17 06:10:31
I am not sure if it is too late for me to give you my opinion on this relationship that you might still have with this Mexican girl, but anyway... I am a Mexican woman, who has dated guys from the USA and I believe the problem here is that she is not proactive and/or assertive enough. It could be because her family is putting a lot of pressure on her (this often happens in Mexican families) or because she might just not know YET what she wants from the relationship (remember this is just my opinion). As far as I know, we, Mexican women are very kind and know how to thank a man who is taking us out and paying for everything!! I honestly think you should actually stop spoiling her... sorry. If she is Mexican, I will generalize, she will appreciate if you talk to her. Sit down and talk, ask her directly what is exactly what she is looking for in this relationship. State exactly what you want. Thinking about your age and her age I think you guys are a perfect couple, in Mexico is always appreciated that the guy is somewhat older than the girl, because that is seen (still) as having a "mature" guy who is not going to play with her, so in that respect I think you are clear already. I believe it would help if you were able to actually tell her a bit about your own culture and explain exactly what is what you are expecting from her. I married a man from a different culture, English -that we use to communicate daily- is not even the first language for any of us and it is quite a challenge to make the other person to see things the way you see them; it is possible but somewhat difficult. Explain to her these things about teamwork and also tell her what things she does that make you happy, so she can keep them up! Ask her what things you do that make her happy. Remind her that a relationship is an effort of two people who are in the same boat, make sure she understands that she also has responsibilities in this relationship. If she does not get better, please!! do not blame Mexico!! We are very kind women and we love to pamper our men. Good luck to ya!
Frustrated wrote at 2008-06-10 14:45:19
I to am in a similar relationship but we are much older. She lives in Mexico City and i live in Canada. She does not seem to understand the word sharing. She thinks i should pay for everything even though she is self supportive. I have bought many airline tickets over the last year but i have told her no more. I have the feeling she thinks I'm going to give in but I'm not it will be interesting to see what happens.
Juan wrote at 2009-03-11 05:55:26
I think that the thoughts expressed by the 28 year old American MALE are UNIVERSAL!!!!!!!!!!! I have had the SAME experience with American WOMEN! With many more years of experience with WOMEN I have come to the conclusion that WOMEN as a WHOLE are JUST LIKE the WOMAN the 28 year old man describes: materialistic, selfish, egocentric, unappreciative, TOTALLY without a romantic bone in their respective bodies; argumentative; use sex for material gain, only (like prostitutes)UNLESS they wish to propagate then they have sex SOLELY to have offspring for reasons of CONTROL. Except for the propagation of the species, who needs WOMEN? Life is far too short to share life with a WOMAN. The price of the companionship of a WOMAN is simply too high. Women simply DON'T DESERVE the companionship of a MAN. LET THEM ALL BE AMAZONS! Treat them like dirt and they LOVE IT! From my experience for MANY years WOMEN are COMPLETELY without a soul. Have a facade of "piety" but it is MERELY a facade with NO SUBSTANCE! As the rock song says: "women were created BELOW". Men are DEFINITELY INFINITELY better off WITHOUT THEM! It takes many years to come to this conclusion, but it is TOTALLY IRREFUTABLE.
andres wrote at 2010-09-01 08:59:01
I'm a Mexican guy with lots of experience dating Mexican and American women as well as Brazilian women. All I can say is that girl you're dating seems to be closer culturally to American women than to Mexican women. She looks spoiled and her manners don't seem to good. When I used to date mexican women 15 years ago, they would always find a way to show their appreciation. Unfortunately, these days Mexican women are starting to look more like American women in my opinion. This is the reason I stopped dating any North American women and I prefer South American. Be careful with that girl and don't let her take advantage of you.
Canto wrote at 2012-11-15 12:32:02
Wow! To the gentlemen that asked openly for advice, you are deserving of true unconditional love. I wish I could see both of you interact on a date and I would be more secure in giving YOU advice. The fact that you are so aware of her culture and family dynamics made me smile. Simply put I am a first generation Mexican American daughter. Your description of her father may be why you are not able to feel safe speaking to her about feeling hurt and taken for granted. Seems like one of two things: she feels entitled and wants to be taken care of like a princess or ( I hope) she is overwhelmed with being treated kindly, respectfully and it is unfamiliar to her. You know! Talk to her. Don't be afraid to hear the truth!