AboutMarc Niles Expertise Counseling was something i started in YMCA, New Delhi as a volunteer,..and after having studied many situations and people, and having analyzed to a point where i was over the top..i believe that having a third person outlook is a sensible guideline into resolving issues....Thats why those people are called counselors..because they see what the other two don't.
Experience i involve myself in arts and sciences,... studying human nature is like a second life to me, and i forever find myself questioning why people do what they do. Its a interesting situation really!
Education/Credentials High school Graduate, Diploma in performing arts, Degree in English (Honors)and Currently Doing a Bachelors in Psychology at Concordia University, Montreal
Expert: Marc Niles Date: 7/27/2008 Subject: Is she playing mind games, or actually moving on?
Question I was with this girl for what seemed like an eternity. We loved each other very much. She was extremely attached to me, to a point where sometimes I was even going to break it off. Anyways, our relationship was like no other - Seriously. We were always best friends before a relationship. Some of our friends would say that we were like a married couple, or even say we looked like we loved each other too much.
Well, recently she broke up with me. I was a total jerk to her, quite emotionally abusive, but nothing that can't be changed. There was never any raise of voice, and some were even jokes, but she got sick of it. It's been almost a month now and she's been hanging out with a lot of her old guy friends (in a group). We also started hooking up for the first 2 and a half weeks, but the last time we did it she put a stop to it cause it was preventing her from moving on. The other day she kept bombarding me with questions on if i'm moving on or If I'm seeing other people. I simply said that was not much of her business (in a more friendly manner of course). As well, most of this week she had been wanting to see me, and even coincidentally showed up at my volunteer shift at the YMCA. She has asked me to spend time with her during the week at her place cause her parents were away. I denied every attempt because I felt that if I leave her alone she'll either come back, or I'll move on. Anyways, so the other day I asked to hang out with her. She told me that she can't see me for a bit and all. She's trying to get over me, but she still shows love. Since our break up I've become a better person and she knows it. I've gotten a job (i'm only 17), started recording, etc. Sorry to be all over the place, but there is way more than this. Around her friends she won't talk to me at all, when she's alone she will (on aim). She mentioned that because I was so mean to her, she doesn't even like me much anymore. She loves me, but isn't "in love" with me. I want to work on the space she wants so we can start seeing each other again and hopefully she'll fall in love with the guy she did the first time. (I'm taking very extreme measures to change my old habits).
Thank you
Answer well jon (hope you dont mind me calling you that)..
seems like its pretty simple.. she seems to have left over feelings..and she probably hung out with her old guy friends to try to get herself familiar with herself (for eg..compliments from them..make her feel special etc)..
what you REALLY need to do..is sit down with her...and tell her that youre sorry for what you did and that you re working on your old habits (anger once in a while is okay....do get that point..............but if the situation that happened went berserk..then an apology is a must)..
if shes willing to get to know you again...then you guys need to take it slow..give each other space..but make it a point to see each other..sit down and talk about general things..play sports..try to rekindle the ol spirit...
if she says no..then tell her to stick to her word..coz it doesnt make sense to make you go on a merrygoround of i do i dont.. (like shes been doing..with the AIM thing)..
maybe she just needs reassurance that you mean what you mean.
