You are here:

Mind Games/Was She Flirting?

Advertisement


Question
Dear Khaos,

About 2 weeks ago I was sitting with a young woman in my church while we were eating lunch. We were facing one another at the end of a long rectanglar table. Another woman (Whom is married) walked past the table, and as she walked past she looked at me and said, "This air feels good over here". She ent to the table behind ours, and spoke to another woman for about 1 minute. On her return she stopped about 7 ft. away from where I was sitting, and stood there facing in my direction, and then she bagan rubbing her fingers through her hair in a backwards direction. At this point an unrelated incident took place in that a 3rd woman came over to me, and was asking did I leave a message on her cell phone about how to use the phone. During our communication the woman who walked past our table came closer, and began rubbing her fingers across her throat, shoulders, and hair areas. She stood about 5 ft. away. At this point I didn't know aht was going on. As a matter of fact, I almost began to burst out laughing in front of the 3rd woman's face. I was thinking to myself, "Is she trying to get my attention???" The 3rd woman then walked away afre we chatted a bit. Next, the woman who was standing there moved in 4 ft. closer and was standing beside the woman I was sitting in front of. The woman I was sitting in front of pretended she didn't notice, and put her head down, and pretended she was looking through her purse for something. At least 5 minutes now elapsed. Next she began to come and stand right next to me, and at this point I thought to myself "Oh my God, What is she up to?"

Khaos, in truth... There is a slight breeze near the table. So, I thought to myself, Was she flirting or was she really just airing out? The woman I was sitting in front of didn't mention it. I wondered, Was it all in my mind? The next week the woman I was sitting in front of finally mentioned it, and asked me, What do you think of________ standing there for about 5 minutes doing what she did? Did you notice that? I told her I got two opinions from other people, and I was told she may have been flirting. She burst out laughing, and said, "I don't know...maybe".

So, Khaos, What is your feed back as it would be most appreciated. Thank you.

William"

Answer
My opinion is that there is no way for sure to know if she was just there incidentally or if she was giving you IOIs (Indicators of interest). But that should not matter. You should always presume that she is interested and act accordingly. You don't need to know for sure, which is great because very few times you will be able to know for sure, and many times girls are interested and don't give out signs of it. So just presume everything in the world will go your way and deal with the exceptions, when they happen.

Mind Games

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Khaos

Expertise

All kinds of questions about psychological aspects of dating, both online and face-to-face.

Experience

Have been a dating consultant and coach for more than 10 years. Expert in lifestyle design, communication patterns, psychology applied to dating and relationship management. Several years of experience working with adult industry and online dating industry as a consultant both to consumers and to the design and improvement of dating web sites.

Education/Credentials
Expert in the application of Neuro Linguistical Programming to persuasion, seduction, and communication in general. Vast knowledge of applied psychology to dating and relationships. Significant experience with alternative lifestyles like swinging, BDSM, and polyamory.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.