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About Christine Taylor
Expertise
I can answer questions specifically relating to child abuse, paticularly where this relates to retrospective activities. I can also answer questions on 'How extended families cope with the result of abuse'. Questions on the legal aspects of abuse are beyond my scope here and I can offer signposting only.

Experience
I was abused as a child by my grandfather. The first time it took place I was just 5 years old, and his abuse continued for 6 years. I was forced into believing that what he was doing was ok, and that it was our secret. As a small child I respected what he told me, and did not tell anyone. He would touch me, bath me and sometimes make me touch him. The memories are clear, but since moving on with my life the attached feeling and emotion has faded. My grandfather was sentenced for his crime, but not before I had to go through a medical and police interview. Shortly after the sentencing I was given support from Victim Support, and later that year received counselling from a clinical child psychologist. Once I was discharged I carried on with my life and tried to put the past behind me. However, after the birth of my son many emotions about the abuse came back, as did the memories. I tried to get counselling but the waiting lists were long. I approached support groups, but unfortunately they were not running programmes in my area. I decided to help myself. I carried out a number tasks which included writting out my memories, and my feelings. It also included going back to the places I was abused. I began to feel strong inside, the memories no longer made me cry, my smile was genuine. My final task was to return to the spot where it all began when I was just 5 years old. Once I had done this I walked away and felt no saddness. I knew then that I had come through the abuse and was finally free to live my life. I have left the negatives of my abuse behind and now I hold onto the positives of this experience. I have learnt how to be strong, and how to restore my confidence. I no longer wish to change the past, its just not possible, so I look forward to a future without the burden of my past.

Education/Credentials
Firstly I have first hand life experience within this field. I also achieved A'levels in science, but also in Christian Theology. Although this does not directly relate to this subject it helped me to use my mind to think outside the box. I was able to see things from other perspectives, and it taught me to appreciate other peoples thoughts and opinions. I also have completed the counselling concepts course and passed at Level 3 and from this I went on and completed a mentor training programme. I am now working towards a psychology diploma, and level 4 in child psychology.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Abuse/Incest Support > Molestation > three year old

Molestation - three year old

Expert: Christine Taylor - 10/20/2009

Question
Chistine,

I too was abused as a child and would like to present you with a situation involving my three year old granddaughter. I don't want to be an over reactive grandmother but I am very concerned.

My three year old grandaughter has recently enrolled in a new daycare center and is not adapting very well. She clings to her parents when she is dropped of and is usually in tears when they pick her up. She has been in a daycare situation since she was 6 weeks old and has never reacted in this way.

About a month ago her grandfather and I took her to an amusement park and the normally happy and bubbly little girl would not go any rides because she said her butt hurt. When getting ready to bath her that night I looked to see why her "butt hurt" and saw that her vagina was swollen and very red. I passed this on to her parents and the next morning they took her to the doctor and it was decided she had a yeast infection. I accepted this as true because she had recently been on antibiotics for an ear infection.

However, one month later, she again says her butt hurts and she has cried for three straight hours and once again cannot sit down without pain. She has been fully potty trained for quite awhile but now she insists and makes her parents close their eyes and promise not to "peek" when she uses the potty. I pray to God that I am wrong but I don't understand her sincere crying about her butt hurting and am very concerned about the day care she is attending. Am I being an over reactive grandmother or should I pursue this futher?

Answer
Phyllis,

My first reaction is to have her checked at the doctor again. It maybe that the infection never properly cleared up and therefore, although she seemed fine for a while it has come back and started to hurt again. I would also be inclined to ask her why she doesn't want anyone to peek. It is possible that at the nursery another child has said something when they have gone to the toilet about peeking, or the staff might tell the children to shut the doors so no one can peek. She may then have began to feel self conscious about going to the toilet. I would also speak with the nursery to try and see if they have noticed any unusual behaviour surrounding toilet time.

I think it pays to be over reactive sometimes, it keeps you on your toes and there is nothing wrong with that, but allow yourself to open up other ideas and reason. If things dont start to improve, and the doctor gives her a clear bill of health then I think it would be time to start asking more indepth questions.

Kinda regards,

Christine

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