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About Sarah Harrison
Expertise
I am an expert and counselor on experts.com too. I am aware and have been through it all. I can answer your questions on being molested by my father, brother and how it feels as an adult to have dissociative identity disorder (DID) and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I can also answer questions on being in SAA, Sex Addicts Anonymous, AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, being married several times as I tried to run from all my fears, including getting lost on the road and yet I still would strike out to find a man even if I did get lost. There's not anything I can imagine that I wouldn't try to answer!

Experience
When I was fifty-nine years of age, I experienced an incorporation with Dr. William Tollefson, the gentleman that developed incorporation therapy. Now my three altars and I are one system instead of four of us fighting against each other. On top of the molestations of childhood, I was raped repeatedly in college by three men and left to die. I stayed in basically an abusive marriage for 26 years even though I was the one that was educated, six years of college. Organizations: United Methodist's Women's Group, Epiphany, Faith Partner's, Emmaus Walk Publications: Sarah Harrison has written several articles for the Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy's monthly newsletter as well as articles for spiritual magazines. She has just recently published her own true tragedy of sexual abuse entitled, "You Love Your Daddy, Don't You?" Go to www.incestvictim.com to view the website and order her book. Education/Credentials: Master's in Education, Specialist's in Education, Specialist's in Administration. Awards and Honors: Teacher of the Year, on the Board of the Finance Committee for Gwinnett Co. Board of Ed. for seven years, CASA volunteer in Forsyth Co. for four years. Past/Present Clients: Women's group at Birmingham United Methodist Church in Alpharetta, GA and Epiphany at Columbia, SC. I want to start engaging in speaking conferences for other women's groups as soon as possible now that my book is published.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Abuse/Incest Support > Molestation > Forgiving myself.

Molestation - Forgiving myself.

Expert: Sarah Harrison - 11/5/2009

Question
Hi Sarah. I can recall being molested by family friends (children), when I was a small girl. I didnt know that is what it was, I thought we were just "playing", until i got older and learned about sex. Well, when I was about 11, I babysat ALOT in my neighborhood. Never had a problem, in fact I love kids. But one day in particular I fondled a toddlers penis & kissed a little girl on her mouth & touched her vagina. It haunts me to this day! I want to be a mom someday & i htink to myself, how could i have done that? What was I thinking? Please help! It seriously bugs me every day. I go to church, I love god, I have been baptised, but I still struggle.
Love, Susan

Answer
Dear Susan,
It was not your fault, but the fault of the family friends that molested you and tried to make you think you were playing doctor or house. You were alone with those babies and you wanted to see what it was like and what reaction they would have, if any. You may have aroused some sexual sensations in both of them, but you can praise God that they were too young to be affected or to remember.

You have got to go to God in prayer and ask his forgiveness. As long as you are sincere, he will forgive. Many of us have done lots worse things. We are all sinners. God forgives us, just for the asking. The hardest person for us to forgive is ourself. He does it, but then we can't do it.
I'm telling you, you have got to, if you want to live a normal life. That is how we heal. We forgive others, including ourselves.

I hope you can believe me and feel better about yourself after this.

God bless you. Don't waste any more of God's time struggling. Spend it with him.

Love and blessings,
Sarah

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