AboutChristine Taylor Expertise I can answer questions specifically relating to child abuse, paticularly where this relates to retrospective activities.
I can also answer questions on 'How extended families cope with the result of abuse'.
Questions on the legal aspects of abuse are beyond my scope here and I can offer signposting only.
Experience I was abused as a child by my grandfather. The first time it took place I was just 5 years old, and his abuse continued for 6 years. I was forced into believing that what he was doing was ok, and that it was our secret. As a small child I respected what he told me, and did not tell anyone. He would touch me, bath me and sometimes make me touch him. The memories are clear, but since moving on with my life the attached feeling and emotion has faded. My grandfather was sentenced for his crime, but not before I had to go through a medical and police interview. Shortly after the sentencing I was given support from Victim Support, and later that year received counselling from a clinical child psychologist. Once I was discharged I carried on with my life and tried to put the past behind me. However, after the birth of my son many emotions about the abuse came back, as did the memories. I tried to get counselling but the waiting lists were long. I approached support groups, but unfortunately they were not running programmes in my area. I decided to help myself. I carried out a number tasks which included writting out my memories, and my feelings. It also included going back to the places I was abused. I began to feel strong inside, the memories no longer made me cry, my smile was genuine. My final task was to return to the spot where it all began when I was just 5 years old. Once I had done this I walked away and felt no saddness. I knew then that I had come through the abuse and was finally free to live my life. I have left the negatives of my abuse behind and now I hold onto the positives of this experience. I have learnt how to be strong, and how to restore my confidence. I no longer wish to change the past, its just not possible, so I look forward to a future without the burden of my past.
Education/Credentials Firstly I have first hand life experience within this field. I also achieved A'levels in science, but also in Christian Theology. Although this does not directly relate to this subject it helped me to use my mind to think outside the box. I was able to see things from other perspectives, and it taught me to appreciate other peoples thoughts and opinions. I also have completed the counselling concepts course and passed at Level 3 and from this I went on and completed a mentor training programme. I am now working towards a psychology diploma, and level 4 in child psychology.
Question QUESTION: i have a 5 year old daughter with PDD. shes 5 but emotionally acts like shes 3. both parents are in the house hold and she has a 3 year old sister. for a span of about 8 months shes become more and more sexuall. at first i thought shes just exploring, but it just keeps getting worse. shes always grabbing at her self, talking about private parts, flashing her privates. and shes also gone backwards as far as academicly. i noticed the change when we switched schools. i figured it was comeing from there.i took her to the doctor last week to get her checked out, the doc said there was some vaginal bruising. i called cps and there is now an open investigation. but what caught my attention was the way her father acted when the CPS lady showed up at the house. he seemed short, nevouse, as if he was hidding something. and when she left he got in a huge fight with me. then i had all these things running through my head, things that had happend that where sighns but i dismissed them. i NEVER EVER thought it was comeing from my own home. my husband is an alcoholic, and durring the time that these things where happening the worse, he was drinking the most.. we where fighting alot, and he spent many a night on the sofa. when i asked my daughter whos touched her or taught her things she wont say. she says a million difrent names. then i thought, my daughter takes sleeping meds because shes so hyper, i asked her if anyone ever touched her while she was sleeping and she said yeah, daddy did. i asked what did he touch, she said her privates. i asked her the same question every other day and i got the same answer but now she wont talk to me anymore.. do u think CPS will find out on there own? im taking her to a specialist next week.
ANSWER: Ashley,
Its really difficult for me to answer your question. I can not possibley say that your daughter is or isnt, however, I can say you have definitely made the right steps in finding out.
The CPS are trained in finding out the truth, and the majority of times they do get there so I really would have faith in them. You should be asigned your own worker? Talk to them about the things your daughter says, and about the things you have told me about your husband.
The behaviour of your husband alone is enough of a reason to cause your daughter to regress in the ways she has. No matter what the outcome of the CPS and abuse I would really question whether or not this is a safe environment to bring your children up in.
I really hope for you and your daughters sake you do find out the truth, and that things are quickly resolved.
Kind regards,
Christine
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QUESTION: i was molested when i was 5. i never had counsling for it, i always thought i was fine. i dont even remember much of it only lasted maybe 8 months and i only remember bits and peices.ive always been attracted to older men, as a matter of fact my husband is 38 and im 25. i like attention from men. i like to dress nice and have men looking at me, but then when i get the attention, i dont want it anymore its "weird" and i go home and change.. its goofy and i dont know why i have these behaviors. i saw the sighns of my daughter and i blocked em out.i allowed so many things to happen that i thought where "normal" behaviors, like i would wake up to my husband masterbating on me,some times one of my girls would be in the bed. sometimes he would try to have sex with me while one of my girls was sleeping in the bed.. instead of calling him babe, or hun, ive always called him daddy out of love. and he treats me and tries to control me just like a child some times.. i didnt even remember until the day the cps lady came and my husband acted the way he did. i got to thinking and over a span of 3 or 4 days all these memories came fludding in.. am i just a sick as him? was i molested and now im drawn to child molesters???? confused.......
Answer Ashley,
You are not sick!! It is not unusual for you to experience the flashbacks and memories. I would consider speaking with your doctor and getting yourself the emotional support you never got when you were a child.
I would consider your reasons for being with your husband. If it is love and committment then age really is no matter.
I think it is important for you to talk about your childhod, so you can put it behind you and be the support your daughter needs. Together you can both come through this!
