AboutChristine Taylor Expertise I can answer questions specifically relating to child abuse, paticularly where this relates to retrospective activities.
I can also answer questions on 'How extended families cope with the result of abuse'.
Questions on the legal aspects of abuse are beyond my scope here and I can offer signposting only.
Experience I was abused as a child by my grandfather. The first time it took place I was just 5 years old, and his abuse continued for 6 years. I was forced into believing that what he was doing was ok, and that it was our secret. As a small child I respected what he told me, and did not tell anyone. He would touch me, bath me and sometimes make me touch him. The memories are clear, but since moving on with my life the attached feeling and emotion has faded. My grandfather was sentenced for his crime, but not before I had to go through a medical and police interview. Shortly after the sentencing I was given support from Victim Support, and later that year received counselling from a clinical child psychologist. Once I was discharged I carried on with my life and tried to put the past behind me. However, after the birth of my son many emotions about the abuse came back, as did the memories. I tried to get counselling but the waiting lists were long. I approached support groups, but unfortunately they were not running programmes in my area. I decided to help myself. I carried out a number tasks which included writting out my memories, and my feelings. It also included going back to the places I was abused. I began to feel strong inside, the memories no longer made me cry, my smile was genuine. My final task was to return to the spot where it all began when I was just 5 years old. Once I had done this I walked away and felt no saddness. I knew then that I had come through the abuse and was finally free to live my life. I have left the negatives of my abuse behind and now I hold onto the positives of this experience. I have learnt how to be strong, and how to restore my confidence. I no longer wish to change the past, its just not possible, so I look forward to a future without the burden of my past.
Education/Credentials Firstly I have first hand life experience within this field. I also achieved A'levels in science, but also in Christian Theology. Although this does not directly relate to this subject it helped me to use my mind to think outside the box. I was able to see things from other perspectives, and it taught me to appreciate other peoples thoughts and opinions. I also have completed the counselling concepts course and passed at Level 3 and from this I went on and completed a mentor training programme. I am now working towards a psychology diploma, and level 4 in child psychology.
Question Hi, I have a situation and not sure how to handle it. Recently my 2 children were temporarily placed in foster care and while on one of my visitations with my children I went to change my 18 month old daughter, I put her on the Koala changing table inside the restraunt bathroom and she cried at first but I let her pretend to kick me which made her laugh. I then went to take off her pants and diaper and she lost it, she started screaming, crying, her whole body started shaking, and everyone in the restraunt heard her through the door in the bathroom. I was molested as a child and raped as a young adult and to me this is not normal for a little girl her age. She used to also come to me all the time and she still does but she recently started preferring her dad to hold her over me holding her. Before I just go off and acuse the foster family I want to make sure my suspicions are accurate. I did tell the social worker my concerns but he blew me off and said I was overreacting. Please help...as a mom all my instincts are saying its molestation but I am at a loss as to what to do. Thank You!
Answer Crystal,
When you did change her diaper did you notice any redness or sores? At 18 months she is possibley teething, and this can cause a condition called thrush in the nappy area, and it really is not pleasant for them. It is possible she has some kind of viral or fungal infection in which case she will need lots of barrier cream and possibley an anti-fungal cream too. Before jumping to any conclusion about molestation I would have her checked at a doctor.
As for prefering her dad to you at the moment, that will just be a phase. Next week dad might not get a look in. She has lots of changes going on in her life, mummy and daddy, then new people looking after her, then mummy and daddy coming back to see her, as a baby it must all be very confusing. I really dont want to upset you, but it is likely she is starting to bond with her foster family and she is probably confused about how to share all her love. Given time she will get used to it.
I'd definitely see about getting her diaper area checked by a doctor. See how she is over the next few weeks. Accusations stick no matter how true they are, so make sure you have checked other possibilities first.
I really hope there is a simple answer here and your worst fears are found untrue.
