Molestation/Has my child being touch inappropriately before?
Hello, I am very confused and upset at the moment as to what my sister told me about my year old daughter and I don't know what to do and need advice please.
My sister was babysitting my daughter one night. My daughter was sharing a bed with her year old cousin (a boy). When my sister came into the bedroom to say goodnight she noticed her son looked upset, when she asked what was wrong, he started to cry and said my daughter was touching his 'willi' and that she said 'shhh' to him.
This shocked me the following morning when she told me.
I asked my daughter as lighthearted as i could if she touched her cousin on his privates and she said no.
I then went onto to say, you did because your auntie told me, which she then didn't reply.
I asked why she did it and she said she didn't no.
I asked her if anyone has shown you their privates or have you shown anyone yours, because thats not good and little children shouldn't show their privates to anyone except there mommy and daddy.
I approached this subject twice to her throughout the day and both times she said, no i havent shown my privates to anyone and nobody has shown me theres. I personally don't think anything has happened like that to her but i am now worried and upset that someone has taught her to do that.
What should i do now because i cannot stop thinking about it and i feel like she is not telling me something because she goes quiet when i bring it up but i don't know if that is just because she is confused about me asking questions like i have.
There is a well-written paragraph in this first link below:
"Children are curious about the world around them. They tend to reach for and touch everything they can get their hands on, ask questions like "Why is the sky blue?," and simply stare at their surroundings to gather information. Sexuality is no exception. When children are young, they are curious about their bodies, other people's bodies, gender roles, and almost everything else related to sexuality. During adolescence, young people may want to know if they are "normal," what it feels like to date, to kiss someone, and what it's like to experiment with sexual behaviors. While many parents are nervous that they might witness their young children playing doctor or find out that their teen kissed a peer, this inquisitiveness is most often a natural part of young people's sexual development, not a cause for concern."
Welcome to parenting 101.... I remember when my five year old daughter tried to french-kiss me one day... It comes as quite a shock to realize that your baby child has all of these sexual thoughts and interests, doesn't it?
Your job, as you have done, is to continue to reinforce and remind about boundaries about touching and being touched and respecting others in the same manner. Continue to show her lots of love and concern, so she always feels safe and appreciated. When she feels safe, she will feel freer to ask questions and tell you her "secrets" when they arise.
When children are molested, it usually changes their behaviors radically. From what you described, it just sounds like sexual curiosity and play between infants/toddlers.
I hope this is helpful for you,