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Molestation/Step Son Attempted inappropriate touch

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Question
My step son is 13 and last night, he went into my 5 year old daughter's room and lifted her nightgown and she said she woke up because he was touching her butt.  He immediately left the room and she came and told us what happened.  His mother is not in his life at all and my husband and I don't know what to do.  We want to get help for him but also want to protect my daughter.  When confroted, he denied it and we're finding that he's been lying about a lot of things lately. We don't want to always worry about her at night or have her sleep in our room. He needs counseling but acts like we're picking on him so will it even help?

Answer
Jennifer, counseling uncooperative teens can be a challenge. They are impulsive, curious and hate to be called on the carpet when they get caught in wrong-doing.

Good for you that you have coached your daughter to report any inappropriate touching to you immediately. You need to continue to reinforce that training, so she won't get influenced by manipulating boys/men in the future.

Surely, not having the nurturing maternal relationship with his mother is a negative influence in his life. Teen brains are about 10 years from being fully formed and neurons settled into place for their maturation processes, so there is a lot of unexplainable behaviors that occur within the peer group.

http://www.stopitnow.org/files/talking_to_kids.pdf
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/pdfs/nfntsx-visac-sexabuse_e.pdf
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/411
http://www.civicresearchinstitute.com/toc/CSPB_FRONTMATTER.pdf

These kinds of challenges are hard on parents, who often avoid the subjects due to their own unhealed sexual traumas and other factors, But, this is the time to step up and become educated about how a teen's mind works and how to work with them to create boundaries that they understand and respect.

Review the above links and check your area for experienced counselors who work with teens on a regular basis. The earlier you corral these behaviors the better the long-term outcome will be.

William Silver

Molestation

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William Silver

Expertise

I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

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I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

Education/Credentials
TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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