Hi I'm Jenny and now 15. I have been reading this site for a while and have a comment and possibly a question. I attend an all girls school and most evenings we lie in bed talking about stuff and recently dads was the topic and it got me thinking about a few things. I share a 6 bed dorm with my friends and as we lay there in the dark talking about dads I became aware I was actually touching myself through my underwear, not really masturbating but just edging to get a nice sensation as we talked about our dads. Later that night I woke when everyone else was asleep and felt incredibly horny, rolled onto my front and quietly humped to orgasm thinking about my dad. I think he may have molested me when I was around 11 or 12 as I remember having the most delicious and intense feeling in my tummy and groin when he was around. Usually it was when he tickled me, I was never naked but sometimes felt his fingers tickling my legs and on my panties, sometimes I felt a hot sensation and tingling and then I shuddered and felt warm sticky stuff in my knickers. I am not angry with him as I actually liked what he did and I guess when we talked about our dads I wanted to have the same sensations. I ualways masturbate through my underwear or tights or shorts which was what I was usually wearing when he gave me those nice feelings, now in my dorm I lie on my front and quietly hump my hand until I orgasm with my head in my pillow, I even still wear the same white cotton type panties I wore back then, what is your advice please?
Jenny, our bodies are a thing of wonder and pleasure. These sensations start at a very early age and continue on, with more intensity as you move through puberty into adulthood.
The dad-daughter bond is often a complex relationship, especially as a young girl develops into a young woman. Dad or not, a male's feelings about being in contact with a female body can be triggered, sexually. If you are just 15 now, I would think that you would have a clear memory of being 11 or 12 and being molested intentionally. Dad may have used tickling to be a part of play and/or some sexual stimulation, but that is different than fondling or penetrating you, so the word molestation may or may not be appropriate. I have had to answer a lot of dad-daughter questions here that didn't have very happy endings/memories and don't be surprised if some of your peers have some darker moments with dads/male figures in their lives.
As a sexually sensitive teen, you are going to be very aware of your feelings, especially during your period days. If you and dad have a close, loving relationship, then those years of feeling loved and appreciated (and tickled) will carry forward into your fantasies and sexual stimulation experiences. In the future, when boys become involved in your life, you will have to consider them as a separate experience and the thoughts of your dad will slowly recede when you have a real-life male person in your midst to interact with, in that way.
We are sexual beings, which is how we all got here in the first place. Learning to be in control of those feelings is a part of your maturation process. Going crazy with sexual orgasms all the time can lead to some inappropriate interactions with boys, who may feel the same feelings but aren't subject to becoming pregnant, as you are. A successful and happy life is one lived in a balance between all the aspects of who we are; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
You are in a challenging time of your life, as your sexual feelings collide with the reality of life and relationships. Your brain still has about 10 years to go, before it settles down with established neural pathways. Find things that stimulate your mind as much as your body. You have a lot of education ahead of you, so that you can become the full potential of who you are in the world. You are the "next generation" who we depend upon for helping to guide the people of the planet into the next phases of growth and healing. There are many challenges in the world which need the focused attention of young people and their creative thoughts and ideas. Don't lose sight of your potential to be part of the solution of the world.
At the same time, acknowledge your own feelings about sexual experiences. When your sexual tension feelings get too high, just take care of them discreetly and allow them to pass. Then return to your responsibilities and dream of the future where you are a woman in a loving, passionate relationship that honors who you are. The Tantric studies of sexuality often call it the "art of conscious loving" which is something seldom portrayed in all the media and porn sites on the internet.
I hope this has been helpful for you. Have a happy holiday season with your family.