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Molestation/Accusations of Molestation

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My husbands daughter came for a visit recently, after not having a close relationship with her father for many years. Please keep in mind, when the parents divorced, both daughters were well into adulthood. According to my husband, the daughter is a habitual liar.
When I first began dating her father, (8) years ago, she harassed me, called me a home wrecker, gold digger, you name it, she called me it. One of those phone calls said, I hope that he will molest your daughter, like he did us? Wow, talk about a curve ball. I had the allegations looked at, spoke with child services, and turned out that they did not find any wrong doing.
Current day, she just visited our home, I have an 18 yr old daughter, who is very bright, top student, plays sports, a great well rounded kid. She befriended my daughter, this is the 1st time they have met. We spent several hours together, exchanging gifts, talking, cooking. I overheard my girl say to her, I'm just so happy to have a big sister, my heart swelled. However as the night came to a close, the woman, I say woman, because she is in her mid 30s, told my daughter that her father touched her and her sister when they were younger. Needless to say, when my daughter told me this, all hell broke loose. By this time the woman and her boyfriend had left to return home.
Next day, I wake up to 37 text messages, calling me a fat whore, gold digger, again and being blamed for her father not being there for his real family.
Something happened of this I have no doubt, he caught boys in their room, or rather jumping out the window on this particular day I speak of.  He told me he had them both pull down their pants and lay on the floor, so he could examine them to see if they were having sex with the boys. He assures me he did not touch them, just looked at their private parts. I realize this is very inappropriate behavior on his behalf, however he admitted it openly that he did it, and realized he acted irrationally. I consider this behavior unacceptable, however would it be considered sexual abuse? I have no doubt that the girls believe they were molested by him, in their mind it is real.
The daughters are threatening to have him arrested since the state of limitations had been lifted on sex abuse. She said, if he doesn't leave me and my child within a week, some real bad things are going to happen to him. She is extremely jealous of my girl, and the fact that we live well, while she and the sister struggle financially. I told him its probably best to let them have him arrested so this can finally be put to rest, the truth would set him free.
I have spoken with my girl several times about this, she has assured me that he has never touched her in that way. However, the recent happenings have created doubt in what happened many years ago. I plan on seeing a therapist in the next few days, how can I be assured he did not do anything to my child? She is a very well rounded kid, and shows no signs of depression or anything out of the ordinary.
I am an extremely strong woman, and usually can handle most situations, however this has rocked my world and I am lost. My main and only concern at this point is my own child.
Any advice?

Answer
Jenny, Listen to your heart and intuition about what your daughter is telling you. If she isn't showing signs of depression or behavioral changes and can look you in the eye and tell you her truth than that should be sufficient proof for anyone.

It sounds like your husband has a couple of very unpredictable daughters who are still harboring a grudge against you for what they think was "breaking up the family." If they try to make a case, be sure that you can produce their text messages and anything else that shows their irrational behaviors. Tell them that there will be lie detector tests and psychological profiles worked up on both of them and when the truth comes out, they will look very bad, indeed.

You may have to look into finding a lawyer who specializes in these kinds of cases. These women need some serious counseling sessions as well as anger management classes. As adults, it is time to move on with their lives and forgive their dad for leaving their mother, for whatever reasons there were, back then.

William Silver

Molestation

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William Silver

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I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

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I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

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TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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