Molestation/Ideas for therapy or medication
Iím 14 and Ive always been really shy and had problems with anxiety but I was molested by my moms boyfriend from 10-12 yrs old and since then its gotten a lot worse. I was afraid to say anything but I told my mom a few months after they broke up. We tried to get him charged but I guess there wasnít any proof so we couldnít do anything. I talk to a therapist but itís not really helping. Because Iím really shy itís hard to talk about some of things with her because I have some embarrassing problems. I get really nervous a lot. Like before school a lot of time I throw up just from being nervous. Then I have these panic attacks where I sometimes have an accident and not realize it until itís over and sometimes if itís bad I will faint. Last spring I started wearing goodnites to help with the accidents which was really embarrassing at first. It didnít take long for people at school to find out but it was better than having accidents at school and now I feel safer with them on and wear them all the time. Not just because of the accidents but because that ďareaĒ is covered better than just wearing underwear. I feel really nervous and uncomfortable when Iím not covered. Like itís really hard for me to use the bathroom or the shower or even change clothes. I feel like someone is watching me. Like last year we had swimming lessons in gym class and when I got into my bathing suit and walked out to the pool I had a panic attack and fainted. I guess they didnít want that to happen in the pool and drown so I didnít have to take the swimming lessons.
I also have trouble sleeping. Iím always afraid at night, I get something in my head and I cant stop thinking about it. Like I feel like someone will break in to the apartment or I think the building will start on fire. Things I know are really unlikely but I cant get it out of my head. Then I feel that panic coming and most of the time I have to go sleep with my mom in her bed.
Itook paxil for about half a year but it didnít really do anything then Ive tried cipralex since I think May but it doesnít do much either. It does kind of help with sleep but I wake up in the night really thirsty and I also feel tired the next day. Itís kind of hard to concentrate at school the next morning.
It seems like Iím just getting worse like Iím starting to rely on the goodnites more and more. I actually prefer to use them and quickly change them instead of using the bathroom especially if im not at home. I canít use the school bathrooms, I can usually make it through the day but if I canít I just use the goodnite and change when I get home. And I sleep with my mom most nights now. Me and my mom have been looking at different kinds of therapy and medication. She found this site for me so I wanted to ask about any different kinds of therapy or medication that might help me get better. Another thing is I think my mom feels really guilty becase her boyfriend did those things so I really want to get better because I donít want her to think its her fault. She works a lot and itís hard for me to make friends with these problems so we are close, like if I go to the movies or something like that its usually with her and sheís really trying to help me get better.
Allison, it is heart-breaking to hear your story, especially when you weren't able to prosecute the offender. I wonder if he even realizes how badly hurt you are because of his actions?
Well, you are really experiencing PTSD symptoms in extreme degrees and it is understandable, given your history of abuse and sexual assault as a child. I know that this has been really hard for you and now you see that the drug therapies are really not a source of healing, but just masking the symptoms.
What is required is for you to be able to neutralize the traumatic memories and the feeling that you have in your body, related to the abuse. The only way that I have seen that really works and works without drugs is the energy medicine techniques called EFT or its derivatives.
There are many sites with EFT information, including the www.eftuniverse.com and www.eft.mercola.com sites. I checked quickly searching for practitioners in AB and found these:
Don't get confused between EFT (emotional freedom technique) vs. EFT (emotion-focused therapy) as the "tapping" technique of emotional freedom technique is acupressure based and can be learned by most anyone. The other version is more for professional use with clients. Either one or both might be highly effective for your treatment issues.
One of the unique things about using the EFT "tapping" process is that you can do sessions over the phone, just as effectively as you can in person. This might work better for you, if you can't get around to make office appointments because your mother is busy working or doing other things during "office hours". I've done EFT sessions with clients for many years and they really enjoy the comfort of being able to stay home while they receive effective treatments that don't include drugs and their side-effects.
I hope that you and your mother can find just the right practitioner who can swiftly move you though your current state of anxiety and other health concerns. You seem like a very bright young lady and I know that you will really blossom once you have the memories of the past neutralized and moved out of your daily thoughts, once and for all.
I hope you have a wonderful new year, full of excitement new friends and happy experiences wherever you are.