Molestation/Suppressed memories of childhood sexual abuse
I've been thinking about this lately and it really bothers me for some reason.
I was sexually abused as a child and I have PTSD.
I was never raped by my abusers, but taken advantage of in other ways.
The first time I can remember being abused is when I was 13, by my friends brother.
But the first time I had sex with my boyfriend, my hymen didnt pop.
I hadn't had sex before then; it just wasn't there.
I've been afraid of men and most adults for as long as I can remember.
The characteristics I've learned I have from my abuse at age 13, I've had my whole life.
I don't remember much of my childhood either until about age 10.
I'm also a diagnosed sex addict
But I've never enjoyed having sex. I immediately disassociate.
Do you think it's possible that I was sexually abused as a young child and I've suppressed it?
I just have this gut feeling that there's more affecting me in that area than I know.
Katy, any time you experience sexual assault, at any age, there is great potential for PTSD symptoms. Your reactive responses to being around men/adults is just another indication of some trauma to the mind-body, which is in survival mode all the time.
I know that people want to "know" the details of what might have happened in early childhood, even when it was at a very young age or is being actively suppressed, but it isn't necessary in order to heal it.
In EFT sessions that I conduct, we work with whatever the feelings are and neutralize those first. Sometimes, the actual memories will surface after that and sometimes not. The goal is to be totally neutral about whatever happened in your life in the past and also to be neutral about whatever triggers you currently.
Listen to your "gut" intuition when you are feeling things that trigger your past memories. It is usually right.
Find an EFT practitioner in your area who can work with you for a few sessions. EFT can also be used by you at any time, once you learn the basics, which are easy. More EFT info at www.eft.mercola.com www.emofree.com www.eftuniverse.com and many other sites.
I know that you have been living with these trauma memories for most of your life, but they can be neutralized and released quickly and effectively in just a few sessions.
Best wishes for a new, bright future just around the corner,