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Molestation/2 year old said my son touched him

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Question
My 2 year old nephew pulled down his pants and his mom asked him what he was doing and where he learned it from and he then said my 10 year old son's name.  Later my sister told him that only certain people could touch it and he said my son's name. My sister said this would have had to have happened about 4 months ago. My son is very upset by this and gives no indication that he is even guilty as he usually is when he gets in trouble.  
My son even said I'll take a lie detector test, which he is too young to get.  I was told that 2 year olds can say someone's name that is close to them when they feel they are in trouble, I was just wondering if it is possible and how to proceed...my son has been going to a counselor, and I have talked to him, but he is just saying I told you I didn't ever do that and it hurts my feelings they would think that.  He is not even showing interest in sexual things, and does not even talk about stuff like that with his peers.  I do not see any warning signs or any guilt like behaviors, and need to know how serious to take this information from my sister.  Thank you!

Answer
Christi,  Even 2 year-olds are interested in their bodies and comparing themselves to others. If you son steadfastly claims innocence he could be telling the truth. If he has no track record of lying excessively and is an overall good kid, then he may have been wrongly accused. Certainly, he is on notice not to be active in that kind of way now and it may shape the way he acts with others in the future.

Relying upon the word of a 2 year old is pretty unreliable. Their minds are full of new information that is flowing into their brains every minute of every day. He may have wrongly tagged your son, in this case, if he was feeling threatened when he took down his pants. Young kids love to run around naked a lot anyway, unless it is very cold and are not self-conscious about it, most of the time.

I would watch the nephew for any further signs of possible sexual molestation or abuse, but it may be a transient issue. When children are molested it generally results in marked behavioral changes from that point forward.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html

Sites like the one above have lots of useful information about the development stages of sexual maturity in children and young adults.

Unfortunately, a four month delay in reporting the incident is like a lifetime for young children, so they may not remember their own words or an event, unless it was traumatic or otherwise significant to their memory.

You are wise to act on the side of caution and this may be a good opportunity to renew the dos and don'ts of touching with your son, as he is going to be headed for puberty soon and then his interest in all things sexual will be begin to emerge more fully. ALWAYS tell him that you love him and that you want him to be open to telling you anything of significance that happens in his life. If you continue to badger him about his incident, then he may withdraw from you and become more disconnected from your parenting efforts.

William Silver

Molestation

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William Silver

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I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

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I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

Education/Credentials
TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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