You are here:

Molestation/brother molesting sister

Advertisement


Question
My son is 14.  He has lived with dad and step mom for past 9 years. He has 18 yr old full sister and 3 year old half sister. Here recently he has molested half sister 2 times. His dad has told me he can not live with them any more. We live 1 hour away from each other. He is coming here with me. He has denied what has been said done. Could the law get involved with this? What caused this. ? He is adhd, they just switched his medicine , there are do many things going on with him. Ok, what do i do? Where do i need to go first?

Answer
Amberly, Young teens, even without the hindrance of ADHD or other behavioral impairments get very sexually curious and active as they mature out of puberty and are often impulsive about their actions, even when it hurts others. I don't say that as an excuse, but I have answered a lot of similarly related questions here over the past six years.

Your son, if guilty, is in denial about the seriousness of his actions, which is another common response to getting caught doing something that he instinctively knows is wrong, after the fact.

There are many sites dedicated to helping parents deal with the sexual development stages of their children. Perhaps, your son didn't have the kind of education and guidance he needed at a critical stage of his development. Setting boundaries is a crucial part of any child's maturation process and must be reinforced regularly. A child's brain doesn't fully mature until about age twenty five.

http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/the_stages_of_sexual_development.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-the-cycle/201201/is-your-child-s-sexual

Your son needs to get into counseling with someone who is expert at working with ADHD children.
You two have to have a very in-depth conversation about where he is in his life and where the boundaries lie, in dealing with others of any age.

If the half-sister did experience sexual assault incidents, she needs to be treated for her trauma, so she doesn't take that into her teen and adult life. Childhood molestation can be devastating for any child.

I would strongly suggest that you learn all about the EFT process for healing trauma, relieving anxiety, fear, guilt, shame and anger. Info at: www.emofree.com   www.eft.mercola.com and hundreds of other websites. Search for "EFT" and your local city to find practitioners who can be helpful in doing sessions and training. EFT may be helpful for your son to learn, as well, depending on his ability to concentrate/focus and his willingness to co-operate. EFT will be helpful for you, so that you can remain in a neutral emotional state when dealing with highly emotionally charged situations, which are bound to come up in the future. Some EFT practioners have had good results with using this work with ADHD clients.

Search: "EFT and ADHD" and see all the sites that come up in support of that condition.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2005/05/31/adhd-treatment.asp

http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=9316

to start.  Most "meds" are mostly masks to help quell ADHD and similar behavioral conditions. The side-effects can be worse then the actual condition, especially in developing children's minds and bodies. EFT is drug-free, can be used anytime and costs nothing to use.

Best wishes for a positive outcome, in the bigger picture of your lives.

William Silver  

Molestation

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


William Silver

Expertise

I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.

Experience

I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

Education/Credentials
TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.