Hi, this site is quite incredible, I have a question to discuss and I hope you don't judge.  I have read many articles about dads and daughters and their relationships.  My story is this, I pretty much raised my daughter as my then wife was useless and always out.  We lived in the middle of nowhere and I guess my daughter and I became very close almost as companions.  As she grew older around 9 I began to notice what a cute girl she was turning into and around that age I saw here several times masturbating or exploring herself, I should have looked away and left her but I was frozen to the spot, she didn't know.  She was very close to me often cuddling up with me on the sofa and sometimes sleeping with me and totally comfortable around me.  One night I came in from out and she was on the sofa in her nightie, I sat down and she cuddled into me saying how I was freezing, she then took my hand and placed it right between her thighs saying it would warm up there.  I was shocked a little and just sat still, a while went by and I noticed her thighs had fallen apart and the back of my hand was still up against her panties, my small finger pressed right into her cleft from earlier, all manner of thoughts went through my head and I moved my hand, she immediately held it almost where it was saying it was still cold.  Around 10/11 we would sit at the kitchen table to do her homework, she would move her chair so it was right next to me and we would almost be leaning onto eachother as she did her homework.  Sometimes she was still in her school skirt and I would end up with a hand resting on her thigh.  As we worked through the homework she would wiggle her thighs about and my hand would sometimes fall between, she would then clamp her thighs together trapping my hand, probably crossing the line here I should have moved my hand, one time she then let her thighs relax a little and moments later I couldn't help but notice how soft the skin on her inside thigh was, right or wrong I gently ran my finger tips over her skin, she said nothing and carried on writing.  For the next few months this was the routine for her homework, she kind of organised it this way, perhaps I should have acted differently.  One occasion my hand was between her thighs and gently stroking the soft skin and as I gently stroked up and down my fingers bumped up to her panties, I expected her to jerk back as I did a little but she did nothing, she sat forward more which opened her thighs more under the table.  The demon in me carried on and although I didn't directly massage her crotch, the softness of her panties over her warmth was something.  Around 11 almost 12 we were still doing homework at the table and close to each other.  One time she had on thin, tight cotton trousers, my hand on her thigh under the table and then her thighs moving apart so it fell between her thighs, while we talked through the homework my hand stroked the inside of her thigh, she sat up and forward openeing her thighs wider and the back of my hand rested tight against her crotch, my hand stroking in short movements the inside top of her thigh and the back of my hand pressing into her crotch, she moved her hips forward pressing my hand tighter there and opened her thighs very wide, I could feel the bulge of her sex and the groove where the middle seam of her trousers was now riding tight into her crotch, I could feel her breathing and her heat and she was leant right into me, suddenly she leaned back and scooted down closing her thighs jamming my hand there, she placed both her hands on mine and pulled it tight into her crotch.  The following week she did her homework in her room alone, on her 13th birthday we talked about it and she said she knew it was trouble but she liked it so much, since then nothing else has happened.

Jon, no "judgments" here, but you were walking a pretty thin line in regards to your daughter's sexual "education." Know that we are sexual beings and that we are aware of that and feel many of those feelings early on in life.

In some societies, sexual education is more interactive than others. Children are moving into puberty earlier and earlier, these days and will all of the sexual images in the media and in the world in general, children are getting a compressed education on what it means to be sexual.

"Normally" most parents give the "birds and the bees" lecture and/or give children plenty of opportunities to ask questions about their feelings and their development stages, but it doesn't always turn out that way. Sex education from books isn't the same as in real life and we all will find a way to experience and learn about sexual feelings and behaviors from someone in our lives.

That you finally had a discussion about it, when she was 13 is positive and I hope that you two can keep a dialogue open about her sexual feelings and activities. Teen girls are so vulnerable to sexual manipulation from peers and predators, so she must be educated and aware of all the pitfalls of sexual behaviors at hear age. When she loses her virginity, it is best that she is fully aware of her actions and the consequences of having unprotected sex, so she doesn't wind up pregnant or carrying some STDs as a result.

It's tough being a single parent, dad or mom, so you are to be applauded for raising her well, so far. It's doubly tough, as a single man, splitting time between work, parenting and having some kind of outside relationship with a woman.

It's a little funny in that your question sounds like the "other side" of a question from a young woman who had a similar experience with her dad during her early years. At any rate, we all choose our lives and make decisions in the moment that are the best we can do.

Best wishes to you both,

William Silver


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William Silver


I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.


I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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