musashi wrote at 2014-08-04 13:19:45
You are a pedophile. Whether you actually did this or whether you are fantasising about it. You need to seek help, your daughter needs counselling and if you don't end up in prison or divorced you will be very very lucky
Xxxximaginaryfriendxxxx@gmail.com wrote at 2017-01-15 23:00:50
I had a similar experience with my step-dad. I was the one that initially wanted that type of closeness with him. I was only 8 or 9 but I remember having sexual thoughts and feelings about him and intentionally created situations to make him touch me or to draw attention to myself in sexual ways. For years I would sit on his lap, ask for a towel in the bathtub when I could have gotten one before and needed to sit especially close to him during homework, movies, dinner and while swimming or using the hot tub. I would enjoy those moments and look forward to them. I would even touch myself thinking about him when he wasn't around. I'm not sure how your daughter felt about this but perhaps she wanted this type of closeness with you and didn't understand what it was. I grew up initiating, manipulating, and desiring a physical relationship with him that ended up in some intensely heated moments of touching, fondling, and even times when I believe he snuggled me while he orgasmed. We never spoke about it with each other and when I grew up it just stopped and life is just fine. I look back and remember those times as special moments not damaging trauma. I felt good knowing my step-dad scared about me enough to see what I needed from him and to give it to me even though he was reluctant at first. I learned a lot about sexual feelings, emotional bonding and physical sensation that would have otherwise learned from a boy or many boys. I'm a mom now and I know he feels guilty when they sit on his lap or when they cuddle him. I wish I could tell him how much those times meant to me and that he should harbor no guilt. I was a child yes... but also a sexual emotional being that needed him in ways I couldn't articulate. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure if she was bothered she would tell you.
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