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Molestation/Is this considered sexual abuse?


Hey, I've been feeling really guilty/shameful for acts I committed from the ages 9-12 I would go down to a family friends house and play fight with their kids but when I would play fight with the daughter I would "dry hump" her but we were never naked or anything always fully clothed and I feel really shameful for what I did. I also would pick her up in a position where I would sniff her vaginal smell I never got really close to it but just close enough to smell it, I don't want her to be hurt in any way I truly feel sorry for what I did at the time when this first started she was only 5 and continued until she was 8 and I stopped while I was 12. Is this sexual abuse or just child curiosity?

Calvin, your current "mature/adult" mind is now criticizing your "immature minded" actions as a youth. 20-20 hindsight is easy to judge with, but not helpful to your psyche. We all did stupid things, especially around sexual curiosity, mostly because our parents didn't take the time to teach us this stuff, in a meaningful way.

I appreciate your sensitivity about whether your actions might have harmed this girl, but unless you can contact her now, to ask for forgiveness, it is best to just let it go. Ask God or whoever you believe in, to forgive you and then forgive yourself for immature behaviors, which probably didn't do any real harm. Children are sexually aware at almost all ages, so it was probably just a "learning experience" for her, as well.

If you had taken her clothes off, penetrated her with fingers/penis, then you have sexual assault/abuse and then there is damage to the child. It doesn't sound like this happened, so just take the lesson with you, when you enter into a new relationship or the one that you are in now. Treat all persons with respect and don't do anything to them without permission. But, don't beat yourself up over what you did as a child. What's done is done, time to move on.

IF you can't get over this on your own, explore the world of EFT (emotional freedom technique) at  or or do a local search with "EFT and your city) for assistance.

William Silver  


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William Silver


I can address all questions about physical, sexual, emotional trauma and how to eliminate the effects from your life. I specialize in assisting clients with a 1 to 3-hour session that can discharge all of the negative feelings around any type of emotionally based problem. I can direct you to some websites where you can download information to assist you and your loved ones with emotional problems. I can also assist directly on the phone or via email, in addition to personal sessions, here in San Diego, California. I am not a licensed therapist, lawyer or law enforcement officer.


I have been a holistic health therapist for a total of over 15 years, specializing in anxiety-phobia, trauma release work.

TFT/EFT training, Cranio-Sacral Therapy, SHEN, Reiki, Hypnotherapy.

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